Magic Drabbles
by Alitote
Summary: "My brother appears to be a woman... and he can't change back!" "Dude you got a cat." And many other odd lines to read...
1. Tomato, tomato

**Complete crack with little storyline due to the fact that I need a story for everything :)**

* * *

Loki sat in the gilded bronze cell in the dungeons of the Asgradian palace. It was the size of a regular bedroom with a cot in one corner and a desk with stool in another. Loki however sat crossed legged on the floor near the enterance, closed by a clear magic forcfeild with the appearance of bubble soap. He sat staring up at his brother-ahem!-regular visitor: Thor. Thor sat on a stool near the enterance staring back, begining to squint as time and staring wore on.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Loki blinked.

"Ahh!" he cried out in frustration as Thor laughed triumphantly.

"Again brother?" He asked as Loki proccured a piece of chalk and drew a tally mark on Thor's side of the chart he'd drawn on the inside of his cell wall. Thor and Loki were about equal, with a few more tally's on Thor's side then Loki would have liked.

"No, I've lost my taste for it." Loki pouted, making the chalk vanish and he got up and stretched, "Besides, don't you have a certain guardian to visit?"

"Don't be in poor spirits just because I've gained a victory brother!" Thor teased getting up as well, "However you are correct. I don't think anyone will mind if I leave you here for awhile by yourself. Especially since I'll be standing next to Heimdall the entire time."

_Almost_ the entire time. _Almost_." Loki corrected, strutting over to his cot and lying down. "Although with all that time inbetween here and Heimdall who knows? I might magnificently escape."

"I highly doubt that brother." Thor grinned, "If that happens I get to use Mjolnir on you. And you can be rest assured I will be most drunk with spirits when I do so." Loki flinched at the thought and Thor walked out of the dungeon laughing.

"That is... if you can catch me though." Loki said to himself as he got up, a mischievous grin winding across his face.

* * *

Heimdall stood guarding a broken Bifrost. The crystal rainbow bridge ran with surges of color towards a broken of cliff where stood the ancient guardian.

"Heimdall." Thor said, approaching him.

Heimdall stayed still for a moment before taking a deep, drawn breath and saying, "You wish to see about her don't you?"

"If it's not to much trouble." Thor said a little bashfully.

Heimdall smiled and looked down upon Midgard.

"She's happy," Heimdall thought Thor looked alittle unsettled about this, "But not as happy as she appears to her coworkers. She's reading a book on Norse mythology at this very moment by the way."

Thor smiled at this and nodded, "Thank you Heimdall." With that he turned to go.

"Are you returning to Loki?" Heimdall asked.

"Yes, why?" Thor asked, fearing the worst.

"He's in his room."

"Oh good." Thor said relieved.

"Not the cell I mean _his_ room. The one on floor three, the site of the unfortunate Mjolnir meets juice box incident." Heimdall said quickly. Thor winced at the memory of the poor juice box.

"Are you ever going to let me forget that?" he asked. Hemidall smiled.

"Not a chance, it's to funny." Thor cursed the fact Heimdall could see anywhere, including within Asgard.

"Thank you Heimdall." Thor said after a minute and sped off, letting Mjolnir fly him towards Loki's old bedroom.

* * *

Getting out had been to easy. Maybe to easy? Loki tried not to think that. This was Asgard after all. Home of the Jocks. He kept repeating that to himself, worried he might be discovered to be missing to soon.

Loki looked around his old bedroom, fighting the urge to jump onto his bed, which was much nicer than the one in his cell. His bones and muscles screamed for it, but Loki shook his head and turned away from it. He looked over at the large desk mounted against one of the walls, where he quickly began opening the drawers looking for something.

"Come on, come on!" He said to himself, frustration growing, "Where'd I put it?" He fished through the deeper drawers frantically, papers scattering everywhere. He climbed onto the chair and looked atop the shelves that were apart of the desk. Nothing there but old spell books and dust. He groaned in frustration and ran to the wardrobe. He tore the door open and fished around among the shoes and random peices of armor. Then he checked the drawers inside the wardrobe and finally began looking in the different leather satchels he'd collected over the years. Not finding the object of his search, he growled and turned to face the bed.

With a running start he flew himself upon the mattress, making an _oomf!_ as he landed on the silk sheets. Then he got up on his knees and began tearing through the pillows and blankets, shaking everything out before he threw it. Just as he was about to start into the third layer of pillows the doors to his room slammed open. Loki squeaked and froze.

"Just because your frozen doesn't mean I can't see you Loki." Thor said testily as he crossed the room, "What are you doing out of your cell?"

"Uhh..." Loki quickly composed himself and put on a mask of neutriality.

"Didn't father tell you? He let me go."

"Really." Thor looked unimpressed.

"Yeah. He decided I'd been punished long enough." Loki said.

"That's the best you got?" Thor asked.

"For today!" Loki said defenisvely, turning back to the pillows and preceding to dig through them. Thor walked up to him and clamped a hand on Loki's shoulder.

"No. No. No. No. No." Loki kept saying as Thor began to drag him off the bed, he continued as he landed on the floor and was dragged across the floor, "No. No. No. N-Hey there it is!" Loki swatted Thor's hand away and shot under the bed. Thor groaned.

"Get out from under there Loki." He bellowed as he clamped a hand around Loki's ankle and pulled him out from under the bed. Loki was grinning widely and holding a green stuffed bear in his hands as he let himself be dragged out from under his bed.

"I wondered where you went!" He said happily to the bear. It was covered in a thin layer of dust and looked a little worn in places.

Thor was silent. He had a numerous amount of emotions running through him as he stared at his younger brother. Anger at Loki for escaping, exasperation and shock because he left his cell to retrive a child's toy, and amusement at the whole situation.

"You left your cell, risked being caught by the guards or me or the Warriors Three or mother or father... to retrieve your stufed bear you haven't slept with since you were thirteen?"

"It's dark in that cell!" Loki whined helplessly, flushing red with embaressment. Thor suddenely gained a wicked grin.

"Have you been sleeping with that bear this whole time?"

"Not since I fell off the Bifrost." Loki said defensively.

"You let go of your staff and let yourself fall off the Bifrost." Thor corrected.

"Tomato, tomato." Loki shrugged as he got up and began cleaning the dust off the toy.

Thor sighed, "Let's go brother." He said as he began to laugh, clamping a hand down on Loki's shoulder and he steering him out.

As they began to walk down the hall Loki halted, "Hold on." He reached behind him and tied the bear to his belt behind his cape. Now no one could see it.

"Allright." He gestured for Thor to lead the way.

Soon Loki was back in the bronze cell, with nothing but a green teddy bear for comfort.

Not a bad day really, Loki summed up, much better than the day he tried to sneak into the kitchens for food and Volstagg had tried to stop him.


	2. My Brother Appears to be a Woman

**Okay, the stage is set, the bomb counting down, the waffle burning in the oven...**

* * *

So far, no one other than Thor and Heimdall knew of Loki's latest escape. Of course, it didn't seem like he was trying to escape to exact his revenge. It seemed the God of Mischief was more satisfied with stolen food, or a childhood toy then gaining control of the Asgardian throne.

"Why brother?" Thor asked the next day when he came to visit.

"Hmm?"

"Why bother? I would have grabbed the bear for you." Said bear was currently hiding underneath Loki's pillow on the cot. It had provided Loki the best sleep in weeks.

"It's not worth it unless you do it yourself." Loki said absently.

"Is that a quote from somewhere?"

"Maybe." Loki shrugged, "Anyway, since were all helpfull here, you should visit her." Loki grinned. He was just being cruel here, bringing up painful subjects and reminding Thor of how impossible they were. On cue, Thor flinched.

"You know I cannot broth-"

"You did last time."

"Heimdall provided a one way ticket, it's not like the Bi-"

"He could do it again, then summon the power needed to bring us home."

"Us?" Thor wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

"It's your week to watch me remember?"

"Then I'll go next week, when Volstagg is on guard duty."

"No!" Loki whined childishly, dragging the o out longer than necassary, "I hate it when Volstaggs here!"

"You jest broth-"

"NO! He just sits there and stares and eats my food!" Loki whined, "Please take me with you!" Loki whined. Thor just got up and walked out. Hoping if he appeared to consider it, Loki would stay in the cell long enough for him to go to the bathroom.

* * *

Thor emerged from the bathroom still a little angry, but the idea had been planted and Thor decided to visit Heimdall again.

"You allready visited this week." Heimdall said as Thor approached.

"Is it still possible for me to visit Jane." Thor inquired, "Maybe next week?"

Heimdall was silent for a moment, then, "No."

"What?"

"Not next week. Im watching her pack for some trip. It looks like she'll be gona awhile by the size of her suitcase." Heimdall said, "It would have to be this week if any week." Thor groaned, how'd Loki know this would happen? Thor decided it wasn't worth it then, but the want to visit Jane tugged at him stronger and stronger as he stood there considering.

"Could you provide my visit now?"

"No." Heimdall said quickly, "You, my forgetful prince, are in charge of a certain upstart currently talking to a stuffed animal in the back of his cell." Thor rolled his eyes. This was impossible. But then his eyes lit up with an idea and he grinned.

Thor used Mjolnir to fly back to the palace, almost hitting someone as he landed and ran down the hall leading to the dungeon.

* * *

"I'm just saying, it's not a bad idea. And he'd be there anyway so we _technically_ couldn't get into any trouble. Not to mention if we did it'd be on _his_ head this time." Loki said to his bear as he doodled on the wall of his cell with a piece of chalk. He was currently drawing himself throwing a certain Man of Iron threw a window while he stopped his armor from catching up with it's owner.

"Brother!" Thor called as he entered the dungeons. Loki scrambled to his feet, thrusting the toy back under the pillow.

"Yes?" He asked, his voice higher than he would have liked.

"Come forward."

"Uhh..."

When Loki stepped up, close enough to touch the barrier keeping him in, it disapeared.

"That's on you this time." Loki said before Thor tigtened something around his neck. It was a red leash.

"We are to visit Midgard." Thor grinned.

Loki grinned at the idea, forgetting for the moment he was chained like a dog, "That's a wonderful idea brother, just let me-Ghhhck!" He'd tried to walk in a new direction when the collar choked him.

"Really? Do I really need this?" He asked a little heatedly. Thor grinned wickedly.

"How else to keep an unruly beast in line?"

"Fine." Loki wanted out of here as soon as possible. He instead turned and waved his hands, causing the bear hiding under his pillow to magic it's way over to him and tie itself behind his cape onto his belt. Thor stared, a little ashamed that his brother still took comfort in the toy.

"Do you really need to bring that with you?"

"I take him everywhere. Well, almost everywhere. I put him down when I became king for that one day."

"You took that to Jotunheim?" Thor paled at the thought of that toy coming loose and falling to the snow, available for everyone to see.

Loki had removed the toy from his belt and raised it up to his face, facing it to Thor.

"He's a fierce warrior, aren't you my wittle pwecious?" Loki manipulated the arms of the bear so it made rappid chopping motions in Thors direction while Thor wanted to both laugh, and slap some sense into the God of Mischief.

* * *

"Heimdall, we are ready." Thor called out as he approached the guardian. Loki ran to keep up with him, not wanting to get choked on the collar again.

"I see you've found a way to keep your responibilities _and_ do what you want." Heimdall said.

"Please may we visit Jane?" Thor asked, determined not to get side tracked.

Heimdall appeared to consider this for a moment, then smiled as he turned to face the Princes of Asgard.

"Very well. However you must allow me time to summon the powers that will allow me to bring you back." Thor nodded. The longer he was with Jane the better. Maybe he could tie Loki to a post or something. Soemwhere where he couldn't easily get away.

Heimdall closed his eyes, pointed his hands straight at the two, and a dark, black power shot at them, making them disapear on the spot.

* * *

Thor landed on top of something soft yet with a thin pointy frame. Maybe a worn automan? Or perhaps a child's couch. Whatever it was, it groaned under his weight.

Then he realized it was Loki groaning, and getting slowly crushed by his older, heavier brother.

"Sorry brother." Thor laughed, helping him up.

"No problem," Loki said snarkily, "It's all good, no harm done here. While your at it, you want to throw me against a wall? I don't think you broke _all_ of my bones."

"Well, let's go find Jane." Thor said, dragging the helpless Loki behind him.

* * *

Jane Foster had been living in an RV for months. It was small, cramped, and not very cozy. But she didn't mind. Afterall, if only she could fit in here, then Darcy was less likely to pop her head in to annoy her.

Like she was doing now.

"Jane!"

"Darcy, you know I told you Im busy. Unless it's important-"

"It's mega important! Guess who's walking down mainstreet _right__ now_!"

"I swear, you say Chad and your fired."

"Okay, it's _Thor_." Then Darcy dashed out of the RV doorway, slamming it behind her. Jane clambered over to the window quickly, craning her neck to see a large, strong figure walking towards her under the street lights. There was something behind him but Jane couldn't quite make it out. She was to busy staring at Thor anyway!

Jane leaped from the stairs by her door and ran forward, grabbing the man she'd fallen in love with months ago and kissing him passionatly.

"You should... have called." She said as she kissed him.

"Bifrost was... destroyed... had to find another means... of seeing you." Thor replied as he kissed back.

"I saw... the news reports... you should have visited then."

"Loki... had to be... taken back... quickly." Thor said.

"Oh please! Don't do this infront of _me_!" Loki said, having had enough of watching his brother's makeout session. Jane immeadiatly pulled away, realizing there was some one else here.

"You brought him?" She asked.

"It's my week to watch him, I had no other choice!" Thor protested as Jane walked over to the other God. Loki stood there, waiting to be looked at.

"Why the collar?" Jane asked.

"So he won't run off."

"And my brother has a weird wrong side. If your seriously considering a relationship with the mad man I suggest you don't lest you get used to collars. The bane of all existence." Loki sniffed. Jane rolled her eyes and started walking back to her trailer.

"Come on Thor, I have stuff to show you." Thor grinned while Loki paled, taking the invitation the wrong way, and began begging Thor not to take him inside the trailer.

"Please no, please no. Thor leave me outside! Tie me to a post or something! Just don't take me in there!" He begged as Thor dragged him closer and closer towards the trailer.

"Relax brother," Thor said finally, "Why would I take you in there? It's much to cramped in their even for the two of us." Loki did a mental facepalm at his brothers obliviousness and the fact Loki now looked like an even bigger fool. To add insult to... well... insult, Thor then promptly walked the miserable god over and tied him to the rig normally used to attach a car to an RV, so Loki was forced to sit down on the dirt. Loki gave Thor a ruefull look as the God of Thunder grinned and followed Jane inside the RV. Once the door slammed shut Loki promptly pulled out his green bear and stared at him for awhile.

"You'd never do this to me right?"

* * *

Jane sat on the bed, a notebook in hand while Thor sat in the drivers seat that swiveled so he could face her.

"How'd you even get here?" She asked.

"Heimdall. It takes enourmous ammounts of energy to send us anywhere so were here for awhile." Jane smiled at the answer.

* * *

It was almost dawn when Darcy returned, carrying a McDonalds takeout cup tray containing three cups of coffee. She was about to enter the RV when she saw the strange dark haired man tied to the RV by a red collar asleep in the dirt, clutching a green teddy bear and sucking his thumb.

Darcy knocked on the door, and when Jane opened it asked, "When did you get the weird guard dog?" Jane looked over to see Loki curled up in the dirt.

"Thor!" She exclaimed, rushing out and shaking Loki awake. Thor emerged from the Trailer to see her sitting the half-asleep Loki.

"What the hell were you thinking? You can't do that to people!"

"Technically, he's not a people per say do to him not being human, and he has to be tied up so he won't run away." Thor said innocently, only to have one of Jane's slippers thrown at his head.

"Idiot." She mummbeled as Loki started laughing. Then he remembered the bear, which was lying there for everyone to see and promptly retied it behind his back.

"Aww, its okay little guy," Jane teased, "We won't tell." Loki's face turned a brilliant red in embaressment and Jane and Darcy laughed while Thor contemplated what he might have done wrong.

* * *

The rest of the day went much better, especially when Loki and Thor had changed clothes, and the girls took them out for breakfast. By the end of the day, even Loki was grinning.

Of course, then came the time to go.

Jane wrapped her arms around Thor's neck, "Promise you won't stay away to long this time okay?" She whispered in his ear before kissing him.

"Promise." Thor grinned, kissing her a second time before Loki pulled him away.

"Let's go! I wanna raid the kitchens before you have to put me back in my cell!" He whined, pulling his brother closer to the dark circle where they'd landed the first time.

"Heimdall, take us back." Thor called out, only for nothing to happen. He called out again, a third time, and was about to start flapping his limbs around in some weird hope it might attract Heimdall's attention when Loki pushed him to the side to get his attention and clapped his hands together.

"I got 'dis." He said haughtily, clapping his hands together and rubbing them before shouting out. There was a flash of white light and Thor was suddenely in the middle of a raining city. Rain pelted off his armor, making weird tapping sounds. Loki stood before him, coughing smoke.

"Actually, no, no I don't got 'dis. I absolutely don't got 'dis." He choked out.

"Brother, we must find shelter then." Thor said.

"Well, don't look at these stores, I doubt they'd even let us in considering how were dressed." Loki said, straightening his frizzy hair and dusting soot off his clothes. Thor looked around, and broke into a grin when he saw the words **STARK TOWERS** shining out over the darkened horizon.

"Follow me brother."

* * *

Tony Stark did not like to be bothered by anyone unless they were a certain red head or the pizza guy. And seeing how said red head was upstairs and he hadn't ordered a pizza (yet!), Tony was very reluctant to open the door.

But, seeing through his video camera that it was Thor, god of breaking stuff easily, Tony decided ignoring the visitors was probably not a good idea.

Tony promptly opened the door wide enough to stick his head through.

"Whatever it is the Viking Scouts are selling, I don't want any." He said.

"How'd he know about Viking Scouts?" Loki whispered to Thor.

"Escpecially don't want any since _he's_ here. Isn't he supposed to be in a cell in your realm mister drapes?" Tony scowled.

"It's my week to watch him and I also wanted to visit Jane." Thor explained. Tony grinned, Thor was sounding more and more human everytime he saw the little iron pumper.

"Still can't come in." Tony said sweetly.

"Please? Just till the rain stops? We need to find out why Heimdall isn't answering." Loki pleaded.

"Sorry Reindeer, not interested." And with that Tony Stark slammed the door in the Asgardian's faces.

"What will we do now?" Thor asked aloud. He didn't expect to recieve an answer, but Loki supplied one anyway.

"Brother, go around the corner, and don't return until I return for you. I have an idea, but I'd rather you not be in the way."

"What are you going to do?" Thor asked.

"Soemthing Odin told me never to do." And with that Loki began pushing Thor around the corner of the building before running back.

* * *

The door ringing for a second time had aggravated Tony Stark to no end, not bothering to check the video feed, he charged to the door and when it was open prepared to scream.

Only to forget the reason he was mad as he stared at a gorgeous dark haired woman in nothing but what looked like a green bathing suit and viking armour.

"Hello." She said, grinning on one side of her face. Tony had to swallow the drool he was afraid would escape his mouth before he said,

"H-hi." He felt like a school boy.

"As you can see, it's raining pretty hard."

"Oh, would you like to come in?" he asked, moving out of the doorway.

"Yes, but, ah, I have a friend who's coming and need's shelter as well, can I go grab them?"

_There's another one?_ Tony though excitedly before saying maybe to quickly, "Totally. Ill hold the door open."

"Thanks." The girl winked and smiled before walking around the corner.

* * *

It had taken alot of concentration for Loki to do what he did, and he hadn't enjoyed one minute of it. Odin, when Loki's magic had become more powerful, had specifically looked up the spell and told him to NEVER attempt it.

"It will mess you up!" He warned to the young Loki who nodded like crazy and promised his daddy he'd never cast it.

Loki rolled his eyes now though, it had been insanely simple to cast. Although he was a little worried about the weird twinge he felt while casting it. It was there again when he willed himself to change back to normal. He didn't know if it meant anything though.

"Thor I got us inside before that idiot puts two and two together." Loki said as he walked over to his brother. When Thor turned around his eyes went wide and his nose started to bleed.

"Thor?" Loki asked, only to have Thor back up a few feet out of Loki's reach.

"Thor come on let's go!" Loki said, motioning his hands towards the door. Thor nodded, "Yes ma'am." Before starting to walk. Loki's eyes snapped wide when he heard what Thor said and he immeadiatly looked down...

... to see a womans body still instead of his own.

"Oh crap... hey wait!"

* * *

Tony was a little confused when Thor walked through the door, he knew Jane didn't look like that woman, but when she entered muttering spells and was in the middle of a freak out he put two and two together.

"Oh my... NO! NO! Why does she have to be LOKI? Why does that hottest woman on earth have to be freakin' LOKI?" He screamed.

"Excuse me?" Pepper said from a doorway Tony hadn't realized she'd been in. She looked royally pissed.

"Uh, I mean on Asgard?" tony tried. Pepper sniffed angrily and walked off.

"NO! Pepper wait! I didn't mean it! Baby! Come back!" Tony ran after her.

"Brother?" Thor said shakily as he turned to Loki, who was beating his-her head on the wall muttering spells as he-she tried to regain her male form. Loki turned to look at him and grinned weakly.

"Guess now we know why father said to never preform it huh?" She tried weakly. Thor was about to answer when tony ran in, muttering curses under his breath and lugging a baseball bat.

"Okay." He said, test swinging the bat through the air, "Start talkin'."

"My brother appears to be a woman." Thor said absently, "And he can't change back."


	3. But I'm your Idiot

**Thug Loki, Kittie Loki, Baby Loki, Loki Loki Loki! :p**

* * *

Loki sat between his brother and Tony Stark while they all stared at a screen which projected the faces of Bruce Banner, Nick Fury, and Natasha Romanovff. All were staring dumbstruck at the woman between the Asgardian and the playboy philanthropist.

"So... that woman... is the jerk who trashed New York and killed 80 people in two days?" Natasha asked, still trying to process this.

"Don't forget, he threw me out a window." Tony added.

"Due to his crimes against humanity-" Fury started.

"Like throwing me out a window!" Tony interrupted.

"Yes like throwing Stark out a window-"

"Which really hurt!"

"Im afraid we cannot allow him to remain without some sort of way to keep track of his movements-"

"Like throwing people out of windows!"

"SHUT UP STARK!" Everyone said in unision. The playboy not only looked hurt, he whimpered. The rest just looked on.

"As I was saying, We need someone to watch him."

"I'm already doing this." Thor said, holding up the leash he'd reattached to Loki.

"Dude, do you have any idea how wrong that looks?" Hawkeye said, hacking into the video chat.

"Barton!" Fury cried, "How'd you get in here? This is a secure line!"

"Not for me!" Barton laughed, "Anyway, when Natasha stalked off I figured there was something juicy going on! And there is! Tony's managed to get Thor to bring down a Asgard Babe for someone special and Natasha's securing her for my birthday!" The others were silent, Banner laid his head in his hands in disbelief at the stupidity while Natasha scoffed, disgusted. Loki went very red while Thor moved protectively a few inches closer to her.

"Do you know how wrong that _sounds?_" Tony asked, trying hard to laugh, "And since when does the great Clint Barton need his friends to buy him a girlfriend?"

"Being an assassin doesn't leave much time for being social," Barton shrugged, "So anyway, what's the price for he-" Hawkeye's face disapeared from the screen as he was kicked in the head by someone wearing a black cat suit and black boots. Everyone else laughed while Natasha set her camera down so she could take a few bows. Hawkeye reappeared a few seconds later, sporting a busted lip and a black eye.

"Your Asgardian Babe, Clint, is none other than the green and black nutcase we battled a few months ago in New York." Tony announced.

Hawkeye first went slack, then he paled, "So she's... he's... they're actually... Aww come on! Why are all the hot one's taken or not a woman?" Hawkeye cried. Loki went a deeper shade of red.

"Ignore him," Natasha said, kicking him again, "He's an idiot."

"But I'm your idiot." They heard Barton say weakly from the floor. Natasha kicked him again.

"I suggest we just contain him." She said when everyone had stopped laughing.

"But where?" Banner finally asked, wiping the last of his tears from his face.

"Well, he is already in Stark Towers." Natasha tried.

"Why me?" Tony cried, "I don't want him here!"

"You did ten minutes ago." Loki said heatedly, crossing his arms and legs.

"That's when I thought you were a woman."

"I am a woman."

"A real woman. One that I could make men everywhere jealous and sing Nickelbacks "Next Contestant" about. You are just a man in a woman's body, I can't make many jealous with that."

"I could throw you out the window again." Loki threatened.

"And I'm sure Pepper would help you do that." Tony smiled.

"Yo, love birds!" Fury cried out, both looked over at Fury enraged, but before they could protest, Fury continued with what he'd been saying.

"So it's been decided, the Asgardians will stay in Stark Towers long enough for us to fix whatevers wrong with Loki and then we get them out of here as fast as we can." Tony flopped himself in his chair, begining to through a famous tantrum. Natasha and Banner agreed while Thor nodded his head after a few moments consideration.

"And how are we gonna figure out what's wrong with me?" Loki asked.

"Simple: wait and see if anything else weird happens." Fury shrugged and signed off.

"Sound's good to me!" Natasha grinned and signed off for both her and Hawkeye.

"A good way to observe your current condition I guess." Banner said as he too signed off.

"Man!" Tony said, getting up and walking over to his kitchen, "I don't wanna have to watch female Loki!"

"You will not be doing the watching Man of Iron." Thor said getting up and tugging on the leash, "The leash will. Come Bro-sister, we'll take you to your new room."

"JARVIS," Tony said, rubbing his temples, "prepare two rooms. I gotta drink this night out of my memory."

* * *

"You realize I can get out of this right?" Loki asked as Thor tied the leash to the bed post.

"Don't be silly." Thor laughed as he walked out, snapping the light off, "No animal can escape the power of containment." And with that he walked out the door.

Loki was silent for a few minutes, then she snapped her fingers and the leash removed itself from her neck.

Sitting up, she muttered, "My brother is an idiot." to her green bear before making herself comfortable and snuggling down with said bear.

Loki dreamt of cats and chocolate for the next few hours before being awoken to someone laughing uncontrollably.


	4. Oh Yeah Baby! Forget Stark Industries!

**Toast is not Toast unless it's a little burned... then it's just warm bread**

* * *

Loki woke to the sound of laughing, something she really didn't want to hear in light of the current situation.

She looked behind her to see the red haired wench on the floor, writhing in her mirth. She was surrounded by a fallen tray wich had contained toast and eggs. A broken mug appeared to have contained the coffee which was slowly spreading across the wood floor.

"What's so funny?" Loki asked, but the red head only continued to laugh. Tony ran in a few moments later, pausing to take in the sight.

"What did you do to her?" Tony asked furiously, flying at Loki and grabbing her by the collar.

"I-I don't know! I woke up to her doing that!"

"Well make her stop!"

"I don't know how!"

"Well figure out how!"

Suddenelly they both heard a _thunk_ and turned their heads to see Thor standing there, hand open and a large heavy book had been dropped on the now silent Pepper's head.

"Thor!" Tony cried, rushing over to his girlfriend and checking her for injuries. She appeared to only be knocked out.

"You said make her stop!" Thor protested as he was ushered out of the room.

"That's not what I meant!" Tony cried as he picked the unconcius Pepper up and carried her out of the room.

Loki looked at her bear, "Dang, that was intense." Before getting up and tying the bear to the back of her belt and walking out the door, cape nearly getting caught in the door.

* * *

Loki found Midgard mornings to be confusing. The room was filled with bright lights and the red head had caused the tv on their wall to become active. She was now recieving intelligence about something having to do with a man and a large truck covered in peanut butter from a well dressed man sitting at a desk.

The red head lounged on a couch, holding an ice pack to her head while Tony ran around, grabbing things and shouting at an invisible man to do other things.

"JARVIS! Track down Thor and make sure he doesn't destroy anything!" Tony yelled, grabbing a piece of toast from the toaster and spreading jam on it.

"Yes sir." Said a disembodied voice, causing Loki to jump and plaster herself to the wall, looking wildly around for the source of the voice.

"And make sure Loki has fresh clothes, ones from Peppers closet preferably." Tony said, handing the toast to Pepper who smiled and said a quiet "thank you" before he jogged over to the mini bar.

"Yes sir." The voice said again, Loki looks tp the ceiling, thinking she hears it coming from there. She searches with her eyes the ceiling, looking for a speaker or a man who'd been camoflauged. Finding none she began to check the walls, running up and down each one, running her fingers across them searching for some sort of concealment.

"Oh and get some Asprin for Pepper."

"Yes Sir." Was it coming through the floors? Loki got on her knees and began searching the floors, looking under furniture and lifting rugs trying to find this mysterious JARVIS.

"Oh, and find me a nice outfit for tonight, and make reservartions at some restraunt."

"Yes sir." Then the epiphany came to Loki: it was coming from _Tony!_ Loki promptly raised herself, turned, and tackled Tony much like a cat tackles a foot under a blanket or a crazed fangirl tackles a well known actor.

"Ow! What the hell!" Loki began jabbing Tony's chest and waist, looking for the speaker or small computer he'd been tricking her with.

"Where is it?" Loki demaded, "Where's you little toy? Why are you tricking me?" Loki was about to check Tony's mouth when she felt a painful thump on her back and she fell to the floor. Above her was a royally pissed Pepper and an extremely confused Thor lowering a very familiar hammer.

"You could have just let me do it." Thor said as Loki got up slowly, rubbing a spot on her back that felt like it was on fire. Pepper was reattaching her shoe to her foot as she said, "It wouldn't have been as satisfying."

Tony lay their, somewhat in a daze, "Wow, women fighting over me... thats kinda sexy." Pepper scoffed and walked back to her couch, throwing the ice pack at Tony as Thor helped Loki up.

"Bro-Sister," Thor corrected himself, "What was that for?"

"It's Tony's fault!" Loki whined.

"Hey, I had no interactions with that woman!" Tony defended as he got up and scurried to the safety of Peppers couch.

"Then who's JARVIS and where is he hiding?" Loki demanded.

"Uhh... JARVIS is a computer, and he's everywhere." Tony shrugged, "Just another example of my genius is all." Loki rolled her eyes and turned, only to whirl back and throw a banana at Tony's head.

"Ow!" Tony cried, "Where the hell did you get that? Your in the middle of the room!"

* * *

Mid-afternoon Fury appeared via video chat on Tony's screen in his lab.

"How's Psycho-sitting going?" He grinned devilishly.

"Psycho would be right, she-er, he... _it_ attacked me this morning because it couldn't find JARVIS." Tony said as he tinkered with the boot of his suit.

"I saw the footage." Fury laughed, "And so did half the people at S.H.E.I.L.D." Tony facepalmed.

"You couldn't keep that one bit of servailance to your self?" Tony asked.

"Hey, I didn't find it. I just got a mass email from the person who did."

"And that would be?"

"His codename contains the name of a bird of prey followed by a human body part." Fury grinned wickedly. Tony cusres Barton, planning to do something nasty to him later.

But first, there was the matter of a certain god... well, _goddess_ that Tony Stark would have the pleasure of getting back at.

* * *

Loki sat next to Pepper on the couch, both on very opposite ends. Pepper would shoot her the not-so covert glare once in a while, having it be returned with a poisonus look from the goddess of mishief. Thor sat awkwardly inbetween them, flipping through channels and stewing in the silence.

"Sister," Thor began finally, "Do you not wish to change out of those clothes?"

Loki looked down, realizing she was still in her outfit from yesterday. She shuddered visibly.

"Fine, but where are they?" She hissed, getting up.

"I believe _JARVIS_ had them taken to your room." Pepper said snidely. Loki rolled her eyes and crossed the room to her door. Upon opening it she found a set of clean clothes folded up on the bed.

After changing, and disposing of the female armor by tossing it under the bed and making a mental note to retrieve it later, Loki walked out to see Thor and Pepper wrapped in conversation. Loki took this as her chance to sneak around.

Skirting the edges of the room and sticking close to the walls, she snuck out of the room and towards the nearest stairwell. Then she ran up two flights, ending up on the heighest floor in STARK tower.

"Ooh, stuff." She cooed upon arriving and finding it was mostly storage for old, unsued building materials. She picked up some of the tools resting on a table, admiring each one and playing with it a bit before replacing it and picking up another.

When she reached the hammer, Loki looked around mischeiviously and raised it to the ceiling.

"Ahhh," She hissed queitly, pretending the hammer was attracting lightning, "Feel the deathly shock of my lightning Loki!" Then she pointed it in a random direction before running over there and slashing her arm up and down, "ktew! Ktew! Your no match for me Thor!" She quickly ran back to her former position and swung the hammer like a sword, "Your right, but I can still fight!" and with that noble declaration, Loki swung the small building hammer down through the air while making her own wooshing sounds. Then she jumped forward and spun around dramatically, elbowing her imaginary opponent in the face, "Your hammer is no match for my magic Thor! I can fight through that wall of lightning easy!" Then she turned to face her former position and held the hammer up in defense, "No Loki no! You'll destroy yourself!" Loki changed postions again and adopted a mad, excited look, "Or I'll destroy _you_ Thor, or I'll destroy you!" And with that she pretended to throw something while going, "Whoosh!" And then changing postions again for a finaly time and pretended to catch the invisible weapon in the chest. She had both arms up and she dramatically dropped the hammer, clenching both fists to her chest, "Oh! No Loki why? I was your brother." She fell to her knees as she answered herself dramatically, "But your also an idiot, and you deserve this just for being that." And with that she fell to the floor, pretending to die. Then she jumped up and raised her arms, "I am triumphant!" she paraded around the room like a person who'd just won a major award, bowing and blowing kisses out to an imagined audience. "Thank you, thank you, I couldn't have done it with out your support." She took another bow, "Yeah Loki! Whoo! Your the best!" She said softly, "Ahhh! Whoo! We should make him king of the world! Ahh! Whoo! No forget the world, make it the whole darn universe!"

"Or how bout a padded cell?" Tony laughed, appearing out of no where. Loki jumped, shrieked, and scooped up the hammer, preparing to throw.

"Oh don't worry, I won't hurt you, physically atleast." Tony smiled, "Just wanted to let the King of the Universe know it's time for dinner so hurry up or you won't get to order a pizza." Loki stared at Tony for a few seconds, then went a deep red and muttered a silent "Fine." Before scurrying out of the room. Tony chuckled as she disapeared, looking up at the security camera just above his head.

"Im gonna have fun tonight."

* * *

Loki was about to venture down the last flight of stairs when she paused because the urge to sneeze had become so great she could no longer move.

"Ahh... Ahh... AHHCHOO!" She was enveloped in a cloud of pink and green dust and the lights whent out. Then, recovering from the sneeze, Loki stood up, massaging her temples and then her throat, "Oww." It had been so bad, it had made her voice go a few octaves deeper.

"Hey Lok-OH MY GOSH YOUR A MAN!" Tony cried upon seeing her stand there. Loki's eyes lit up and he looked down to see...

A man's body, his body, was back... and wearing women's clothing.

"We never speak of this understood." Loki said only to look up and see Tony's phone out, "What are you doing?"

"Just... texting... with one hand."

"Your taking a video."

"No I'm not, this is a phone Loki, they are used to communicate. If I was taking a video, I would have a device called a camera. And when I use a camera, I use a large handheld device that is large and blocky and inconvenient because no one wants to carry it around because its such an inconvenience and then they don't have it for moment's like this were-"

"Tony, Barton told me about camera phones and your a billionaire so I suspect you have atleast one camera phone on you at all times." Loki flat lined, staring at Tony angrily. Tony grinned sheepishly, "But, hey, your back. Yay!"

"Oh shutup you... you... AHCHOO!" Loki sneezed again, this time pitching so far forward he fell down the stairs, landing at the bottom only to hit the floor, there be a bang and a flash of light, and he'd reappear at the top only to fall down the stairs again and there be another bang and a flash of light.

"Ahh! Oh! Help... Ah!... Me!" He shouted as he hit each step with a painful thud. Tony stood at the top of the stairs laughing very hard, begining to shake the camera he was laughing so hard.

"To-Ah!-ny! Help! Ah! Oh! Ah!" Loki screamed, attracting the attention of both Thor and Pepper, followed closely by Banner who'd stopped by.

"What's your brother doing?" Banner asked Thor, who looked on in amusement and worry.

"Falling down the stairs?"

"How do we stop him?" Pepper asked concerned.

"I have no idea, I think we just have to wait for him to find the will to stop?" Tony called down.

"Tony Stark!" Pepper cried abashed, "Are you seriously filming this?"

"Oh yeah baby! Forget Stark Industries, I'll be a internet sensation!" Tony cried as Loki reappeared at the top of the stairs and began to fall again.

Thor leaped forward, dodging his brother and began running up the stairs, reaching the top and holding his arms open as Loki decended farther adn farther down the stairs.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked.

"I'm about to save my brother." Thor said and on cue, there was a bang, a flash of light and Loki reappeared in front of Thor. Thor clasped his arms around Loki's middle and attempted to pull back, only to fall with Loki this time and continue the mad cycle.

"Help!" Thor cried as he flew towards another step. This time everyone was laughing to hard to help and on their next descent, Thor realized finally that he'd have to get Loki and himself out of this one. As they neered the end of their umteenth descent down the stairs, Thor pitched forward and they flung a little farther and hit the wall by the stairs, knocking Loki out and stopping them finally. Thor was breathing heavily, "Thank the gods."

Loki woke up a second later, "Ow... that hurt."

Tony walked down the stairs, laughing very hard, "That was the best thing I've ever seen." He laughed until Pepper smacked him in the stomach, shushing him. Thor got up, then reached down and picked Loki up by the armpits. Loki was a tad unsteady, pitching into the wall a few times as he walked into the living room.

"Whats... for dinner?" He asked dazed, flopping onto the couch and not moving again.

"Thor, I should have just invited you guys here myself, this is awesome!" Tony laughed, racing down to his lab so he could retrieve the security footage of Loki doing battle with himself so he could make an awesome viral video.

The next morning, Tony Stark would wake to over one thousand hits on the video and millions of comments. FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS MAN was _the_ viral video of the year.


	5. Dude You Got a Cat

**Do you use butter in your cooking oil?**

* * *

Everyone sat around eating pizza, celebrating different things. Tony celebrated his internet success, Pepper celebrated the fact that there was no longer any competition for Tony's attention, Thor celebrated his brother being his brother (physically) again, Banner, who'd stayed the night, celebrated the fact there was pizza there and Loki...

Was currently too busy enjoying the delicious dish to think of anything to celebrate.

"This is a glorious dish!" Thor proclaimed, slamming his paper plate to the ground, "Another!" Everyone stared at him while he and Loki sat there wondering why Thor wasn't being offered another slice.

"Well, do you really want another?" Tony asked condescendingly, "Because the box is two inches in front of you."

"Oh." Thor said stupidly, snatching another slice. Loki finishes his and reaches into the box to grab the last slice in the box when Tony snatches it from his hands. Tony smirks at Loki and goes to take a bite, going slow so as to antagonize Loki a little longer.

"Thor," Loki leans over and whispers, "Tony just stole my food." Thor immeadiatly stood up and lifted Mjolnir.

"Return my brothers food creatin." Thor demands of Tony, who has the pizza hanging halfway into his mouth, wondering if a bite of the cheese would be worth a punch in the face. Finally he returned the pizza to a smiling Loki who took slow, antagonizing bites making eye contact with Tony the entire time.

The rest of the group stared at Thor, "Your rather protective." Pepper noted.

"He's the younger brother, I have to be." Thor sniffed, Loki just rolled his eyes and opened the next box.

"Loki must rely on you... alot." Tony said rather darkly as he stared at Loki enjoying his pizza.

"Only when he would be bested by someone stronger than him otherwise." Thor said haughtily, Loki again rolled his eyes and took another bite.

"So all the time?" Banner jabbed lightly, giggling as he took a bite.

"Only when Volstagg steals his food." Thor said.

"Or Tony!" injected Pepper.

"Or when Sif beats him at a horse race." Thor continued, "Or when father forgets to mention his good work during training, or when Fandrall steals his hair gel." By now the whole table was laughing hard except for Loki who was growing stonier and stonier with each passing word.

"Or when he gets his butt kicked by the Avengers! OOOOOOOH!" Tony cheered, high fiving Bruce.

"Yes, or that." Thor laughed. "Oh, I remember one time Fandrall and Hogun stole his teddy bear and attempted to offer it to the Jotuns as a peace offering." The table exploded in laughter, Loki merely sat back, nibbling a pizza slice.

"How'd _that_ go?" Tony inquired excitedly.

"Well, they certaintly didn't accept it... in fact I think it almost started a war." Thor remembered.

"Because they offered a childs toy?" Bruce asked.

"No because Loki followed them there and went a little crazy trying to get it back." Thor laughed, "I'd accompanied them as protection and I got to see my brother glorious in battle." Thor laughed, "I had no idea Loki was so flexible, or daring. They still talk about it on Asgard, how my brother, with feircest daring, leapt onto Laufey and began clawing on his face till he dropped the toy. Then my brother proceeded to lay wast to everything and everyone. I had no idea ice could be lit on fire, but even the laws of physics were outmatched by my brother's ruthlessness." Everyone but Thor and Loki had by this time fallen out of their seats they were laughing so hard. Loki had long since finished his slice of pizza and was absently gnawing on his hand.

"Wow, when you guys were kids things were nuts!" Pepper laughed from the floor.

"Oh no this was a few months before he fell off the Bifrost." Thor said quickly, Loki suddenely exploded, tackling Thor to the floor where he began to claw at his face, sounding like a wet hissing cat the whole time.

"See?" Thor said between hisses, "His feirceness is unmatched!"

"Should we get Loki off him?" Bruce asked as the others sat back up in their chairs.

"Nah," Tony said after a moment, "He seems fine."

As he was speaking they heard a sickening crack.

"Well, fine except for his collar bone." Tony corrected himself.

"Norse gods heal fast right?" Pepper asked.

"I think so." Bruce shrugged.

* * *

After the pizza and blood had been cleaned up, Thor sat on the couch with his face covered in bandages. Pepper and Tony sat next to him, thouroghly absorbed by the action movie they were watching, although Banner had long since fallen asleep in his chair and was now snoring loudly.

Loki sat in the corner, still hissing at Thor whenever he looked in Loki's direction.

"Really brother? It's been an hour since they pulled you off me, can we not move on?" Thor asked. Loki groweled and curled up in his corner, back to Thor.

"I see how it is brother." Thor said reproachfully before returning to the movie.

And hour later whenn it had ended, Tony stood up and stretched.

"Boy am I tired. Bed time!" He grinned before grabbing Pepper and twirling her around and dipping her, "Thank you for a perfect night Ms. Potts." He said before standing both of them up.

"Thor?" Pepper called, trying to get his attention, "Thor could you wake- Thor?"

Thor was busily trying to get his brother's attention, however Loki refused to give him the time of day, instead he crawled on all fours and crawling around the furniture. He clawed up onto the couch and curled up in a ball.

Pepper walked cautiously over and peered over the couch. Loki looked up at him and hissed a warning at her before laying his head back down.

"Ah Tony, he's being weird again." Pepper said, waving Tony over. Tony walked over, took one look at him, and said to Thor, "Dude, you got a cat."

Thor looked at Loki intensely, looking for any sign of fur.

"But he's still normal."

"So he normally hisses and scratches at people?" Tony asked.

"I mean he still looks normal." Thor corrected.

"Maybe it's another magic thing, like when he fell down the stairs or made me laugh uncontrollably." Pepper proposed.

"So he's mentally a cat?" Tony asked.

"I hate cats." Banner said groggily, waking up, "What's this about cats?"

"Thor got a cat." Tony said.

"For the last time Man of Iron, he is not a cat." Thor said testily, lifting a hissing Loki up by the armpits.

With a flapping whoosh two pairs of fuzzy ears unfolded themselves from Loki's head. Loki meoewed very loudly.

Tony took one look and said, "Dude you got a cat."


	6. Keep the Cats Away From My Circuts!

**Always make sure there are no Karfoffels in your lederhosen**

* * *

Thor, not knowing what to do with a cat, and having a primitive idea of what a cat was, marched Loki into his room and threw him into a heap on the bed.

Loki meowed indignantly and hissed when Thor attempted to get any closer.

"Brother, you are a strange one indeed." Thor said, backing slowly from the room. Loki gave him an odd look before sprouting whiskers on his face. Thor stopped, stared, than turned and walked out of the room quickly. Loki meowed loudly as Thor walked down the hall, almost walking into Tony who was standing darkly in the shadows.

"Wha! M-man of Iron, why do you conceal yourself so?" Thor asked, breathing heavily from the shock.

Tony looked down the hall, towards Loki's room, "Cats... they always try and get into my circuts... keep that cat away from my circuts!" Tony hissed, a slight mad look entering his eyes before he ran down the hall and up the stairs.

Thor stood there for awhile, looking confused, then shrugged and decided the glorious duct tape he'd heard about would probably keep Loki away from Tony's circuts one way or another.

* * *

When Pepper went into Loki's room the next morning to bring him breakfast and a change of clothes, she was surprised to find he'd escaped!

At first Pepper flipped out, worried that Loki was planning to cause the city more havoc, then she calmed herself by assuming maybe he went to use the bathroom before remembering Loki's room contained a bathroom and it was empty and dark with the door open.

Pepper was about to call Tony when she heard a loud meowing sound from under the bed.

Pepper got on both knees and looked underneath to see a tuxedo tomcat under the bed, sitting in a pile of armour and abandoned clothing.

"Aww! So cute!" Pepper cried, reaching out to pet it.

The cat hissed and receded further into its bed of Viking armour. Then Pepper put two and two together.

"Loki?"

* * *

Tony wasn't surprised, afterall he'd grown ears and a tail last night. But seeing Loki as a cat was still a little amazing.

"I so want to run tests on you." He told the cat who was now sitting on his lab work table. The cat hissed in reply and began to wash itself with it's paw.

"Fine, you can do your hair but no nasty stuff!" Tony called, walking over to his laptop on the other table. Loki the cat looked a little surprised at this, then he appeared to look embarressed.

"So he understands human speech?" Tony chuckled, opening the video chat and seeing Banner on the other line.

"Hey I'm swinging by to do some more tests. Now that Loki's normal again we should probably-"

"He's not normal." Tony said.

"What?" Banner asked after a long silence.

"He turned into a cat overnight."

"What?" Banner asked again after another long silence.

"Yeah remember when he started clawing at Thor after Thor told that embarresing story about-" an indignant meow shut Tony up. He realized the cat had leapt off the work table and was now sitting behind the laptop, an abandoned cup of coffee before one forepaw.

"He's right there isn't he." Banner said taking note of Tony's horrified stares at something behind the computer Banner couldn't see.

"And he's threatening my laptop." Loki looked as proud as a cat could look to a human. In fact Loki was purring very loudly.

"I can hear him." Banner laughed.

"I'm gonna have to call you back after I train a cat." Loki hissed at Tony and inched the coffee mug closer. Tony whipped his laptop up into his arms and he shuffeled over to the first work table. Tony then began working on his laptop, looking for anything that might help him figure out how to turn Loki back to a human quickly.

Loki growled angrily and looked for something to do. Off in a distant corner there was a large black shadow he couldn't make out. And with his powers not working for some reason in this cat body, he couldnt cast any spells or anything to make the hidden object reveal itself.

Half heartedly, Loki leapt down from the table and crossed the room to see what it was. First he poked it with a white paw, then he swatted at it, throwing it into the middle of the room.

It was a toy mouse. A gray squeaky toy mouse that shrieked as it crossed the room. Tony looked up from his laptop and grinned.

"I see you found it! I was wondering when you would." Loki didn't know whether or not to hiss.

"No one can resist the urge to play with a cat toy." Tony grinned wickedly. Loki stared at the toy both horrified and mesmerized at the same time. The gray plastic of the toy was calling out to him, begging to be hit again. Loki could smell the factory plastic, the soft cool material bending to his paws will as he hit it mercilessly across the room and pretended it was fresh game. Maybe Loki could even bite it a few times with his long sharp teeth, just to hear the thing scream a little-no wait! What was he thinking? He couldn't play with such a toy! It was beneath him! But the little toy wanted to be batted around... Loki could just tell. No! NO! He was not going to play with such a thing! He would _not! He would not!_ He absolutely would not-

Loki sent the thing sailing at Tony's head, purring with satisfaction as it bounced off the man's head and sailed onto a counter. Loki jumped up and swatted it again, this time bouncing it off Tony's laptop.

"Stop it!" Tony cried, but Loki merely shot the mouse into the millionaires mouth. Tony spat it out disgustedly into his hands.

"Ha! Take that Loki! Now I got the toy and your not gettin' it back!" Tony sneered nastily as he pocketed the plastic rodent and turned back to his laptop.

Loki stared quietly for a moment, then he meowed loudly. When Tony didn't appear to notice, he meowed louder, sounding almost like a wail. He padded over and rubbed against Tony's legs and meowed louder, pawing at Tony's jeans and trying to attract his attention. When that didn't work Loki ran out into the free area of the floor and started mewling loudly while rolling over and over like a dog. He spied Tony cracking a smile before Loki jumped up onto the worktable Tony was using and he rubbed up against the laptop, eventually just closing the laptop from behind.

"You ah, you want somehting?" Tony asked. Loki mewed indignantly and pointed his pink nose at Tony's pocket.

"You really wanna play with this?"Tony asked, "Isn't that, you know, a little _beneath_ you?" Loki hissed and planted his butt firmly on Tony's laptop. Tony groaned, "Get off you stupid cat!" He tried to force his laptop back open but Loki clawed his fingers everytime he got near the screen of the laptop.

"C'mon! I'm working!" Loki hissed and Tony slammed his head onto the table top. Then he shot back into a sitting position and took the mouse out of his pocket.

"You want it?" Tony cried, getting up, Loki shot to attention, "You want it?" Loki nodded his head and Thor opened his door.

"Well, GO GET IT!" Tony threw the toy as hard as he could down the hall and a mewling Loki shot after, pouncing successfully on it mid way down the hall. Loki threw it against the wall and freaked when it bounced back and nearly hit him in the face.

This thing, he decided, was a worthy opponent, and must be brought down.

* * *

Thor couldn't decide, FreshStep or Scoop Away?

He'd been at the store for a solid two hours with Pepper buying cat neccessities like cat food, a brush, and a litter box. Thor had wanted to buy a small crown for cats and a scratching post with a pedastal on the top but Pepper said they didn't want to make the cat's ego any bigger than it already was.

Pepper prodded Thor gently in the thigh with the cart, "We gotta hurry. At this rate he'll turn back in to a human!"

"I have to make sure we get the right one." Thor said, not turning away from the different bags.

"Just grab one, it's just litter."

"Well, what if he doesn't like it? What if he doesn't want to use it because he hates it?"

"He'll be fine." Pepper said a little tiredly, "Geez, no wonder he's so high maintenance."

"I like taking care of my brother is all." Thor said.

"Thor, when you were watching the TV before we left you weren't even watching the TV, you were letting Loki climb all over you and jump all over you."

"I could still see the program."

"You were behind the couch with one leg stretched out under a blanket so he could pounce on your foot everytime it moved."

Thor decided he was losing this argument. Pepper grinned when Thor grabbed a bag of Litter and plunked it into the cart.

"Finally we can go home!"

* * *

To say a dog is messier than a cat would not be true in Loki's case. The living room was a mess, dvd's, magazines, and a few picture frames littered the floor amongst scattered blankets and couch pillows. Anything that had been near the mini bar was turned over and some of the cups were now stuck to the forepaws of the mischeivous tuxedo cat.

Loki meowed loudly everytime something fell or made a noise, wishing it would attract Tony's attention. Loki couldn't wait for the big idiot to see this!

To his great dissapointment, the first one to see it was not Tony, but Thor.

Thor walked into the living room, carrying two brown bags of stuff.

"Okay Loki I got you-what happened in here?" Pepper followed behind quickly and freaked when she saw the mess. They both looked down at the tuxedo cat who stared innocently back at them and meowed pitifully until Thor set his bags down and gently removed the small glasses on Loki's feet.

"How did you do all this brother? I thought Tony was supposed to watch over you." Loki merely appeared to not understand and instead rubbed against Thor's arm before walking up his legs and rubbing against his chest.

"Aww he likes you!" Pepper squealed.

In truth, Loki was merely allowing his cat instincts and nature to temporarily take over so he looked all the more innocent. He inwardly shuddered everytime his fur made contact with Thor's Rush T-shirt.

"Hey guys! You're back!" Tony called as he walked down the hall, "I was begining to won-WHAT HAPPENED IN HERE?" Tony screamed when he saw the mess. He immeadiatly spied Loki buttering up Thor and snatched him by the scruff of his neck.

"What do you think your doing?" He said angrily, "You think that just by acting like a cat your gonna get out of this?"

"Oh put him down Tony." Pepper said, grabbing Tony a drink in the hopes he'd calm down, "He's a cat now, he doesn't understand you."

"Oh doesn't he?" Tony said sarcastically, "This mangy animal used my head for target practice with that cat toy and hissed everytime I insulted him. He understands human speech!" He stared into Loki's large green cat eyes, bringing him close to his face, "Don't you, you stupid mangy cat?" He sneered, hoping the severity of the insult would be to much for Loki to resist.

Loki merely stared innocently back at Tony, his purring dying down the longer he was held up in the air. Then, raising a paw, he batted at one of Tony's overhanging bangs that was within his reach.

"Aww!" Thor and Pepper cried, Thor taking the cat from Tony's hands. Tony was left standing there awkwardly.

"He's so cute!" Pepper cried, taking Loki from Thor and holding him like a baby. She began to rub his belly and Loki purred louder.

"My brother is truely one to marvel at." Thor said, walking over to one of the bags and grabbing the bag of treats.

"Wait Thor we have to put that in his regular cat food or he won't eat them." Pepper said before Thor could feed Loki one of the treats. Thor pouted and Loki wanted to laugh, but couldn't do to being a feline... and felines don't laugh... that'd be kinda creepy...

Tony merely looked jealously at the cat before Pepper waved him off, "Go clean up that mess!" Tony grumbled and headed towards the living room, spying the gray mouse stuck up ontop of the TV.

"That's why he made the mess!" Pepper cheered when Tony removed it. In truth Loki had thrown it up there himself so he could have that excuse, his plan to mess with Tony was going perfectly. Tony rolled his eyes and squeezed the toy once, making the toy shriek. Loki perked up at the sound and jumped down from Pepper's arms and ran to Tony.

"Oh you want it? Huh?" Tony held the toy up high, letting Loki merely stand at his feet and stare at it, like he was waiting for the big jerk to throw it.

"Just give it to him Tony." Pepper said after a minute.

"You want it? You want the pointless toy? You want the pointless toy? Well, go get the toy! Get the toy!" Tony pitched it down the hall, towards the elevator.

Which was perfect timing since the elevator dinged open and Banner walked through carrying a pizza box. Before the elevator doors could slide closed again, the toy landed inside. Banner almost tripped, trying to move as a black and white streak shot past him into the closing elevator.

The elevator dinged closed and Loki, in a burst of inspiration, shot the mouse so it hit the first floor button.

The elvator disapeared before anyone could stop it.

Thor and Pepper stood shocked, open mouthed, at what had just happened. Then, angrily, they turned to look at Tony who smiled weakly.

"Oops?"

Thor cracked his knuckles.

* * *

**Okay! good place to stop! (I guess... felt like it... okay it's not but I need to post I'm runnin outta time...) Anyway, I hoped you've enjoyed the story so far (I believe Oomara13 has, I hear her shrieking laughter everytime she opens this story in the other room) and this'll be a short, but not pointless, Authors Note! Yay!**

**Anyway, I'm currently writing another story that contains the characters of Thor and Loki (no it's not slash!) and I would like all fans to stick this link in their address bars:**

**s/8303247/1/The_Forgotten_Adventure**

**(make sure you add the adrress stuff for fanfiction in front of it or it wont go there... or just click on the link in my profile if this is to confusing for you :) both should work)**

**Do this and I will be very happy.**

**The story is alot more dramatic and dark than this fic you're reading right now... or... were reading right now... the chapters over...**

**Anyway! It's alot darker and sadder than this fic and it's rated T, so yeah there's a heads up. But I'd like people to read and review it! Thanks!**

**(You know... now that I think about it, this wasn't an Author's Note... IT WAS AN ADVERTISEMENT! AHH! YOU CAN'T EVEN ESCAPE COMMERCIALS ON FANFICTION! :O !)... (oH! AND REVIEW THIS STORY TOO PLEASE!)**


	7. The Cat-God

**Oomara13: You are banned from commenting here as well!**

**Also, if you haven't been reading The Forgotten Adventure, marching season is starting up, so updates will be alot harder but i will still update, i don't think my sister will let me stop until the stories are finished.**

**Sorry for the long hiatus! I promise i'll be better about it!**

* * *

Loki continued playing with his mouse as the elevator made it's way slowly to the first floor.

Somewhere high above, Thor sent Tony sailing across the room.

"That was my brother you foolish cretin!"

"And that was my face you loudmouthed oaf!"

The two made to run at eachother, but Pepper ran in the middle of them.

"Knock eachother out _after_ we get psychokitty back okay? He's probably in the lobby by now."

The smart red head was right. Loki's elevator reached the first floor, dinging softly and the silver door sliding open quietly. Loki took one look at the shiny ceiling lights and ran out the door, chasing the toy mouse he kept swatting at every time he reached.

Thor, Tony, Bruce, and Pepper stood at the elevator door, urging it to move faster.

"Get up here!"

"Hurry!"

"Faster magic box of transport!"

Meanwhile Loki swatted the gray mouse at someone's head, causing the man to turn and see a stray cat in the lobby of Stark Towers.

"Get it!" The man cried and the security guards ran for the cat. Loki leapt gracefully from the moshpit and sailed onto a chair. One of the first guards to recover and stand up ran at the cat and collided with the chair while Loki ran across the room after his toy.

"Meow!" He cried dramatically as he swatted the toy at the oncoming guard's mouth. The toy lodged firmly in his mouth and the guard choked on it before spitting it into his hand and dangling it by the tail.

"Come and get it kitty." He sneered, noting how one of the other guards had removed his tranquilizer gun and was preparing to shoot.

* * *

The elevator dinged and the door slid open, everyone almost broke their necks shooting into it, tripping over one another so that Tony ended up ontop of Thor ontop of Pepper ontop of Banner.

"That's my girlfriend your awkwardly sandwhiching!" Tony cried indignantly, pulling her from between them. Pepper took a few steadying breaths before turning around and slapping Tony.

"Wha?!"

"You lost the cat! And nearly broke everyone's neck!" Pepper cried. Tony shrugged.

"I've done worse." Pepper rolled her eyes and pressed the first floor button.

"How do you know he is on the first floor?" Thor asked.

"I don't." Pepper said.

* * *

The first floor was total chaos. Buisness men, security guards, vases and furniture lay wasted everywhere. Some of the guards sporting scratch marks.

"The hell?!" Tony cried, "Do you people realise how much money this cat-god is costing me?!"

Said Cat-god was currently sitting in the lap of a blonde man in a leather jacket and jeans off to the side.

"Steve? What are you doing here?" Bruce asked.

Steve looked at them questioningly, "Petting a cat I rescued from the debris of mad men finally snapping? Did you know he was trapped under a large man with a dart in his neck?" Loki meowed loudly.

"So you've just been sitting here petting him?"

"Yes he's so cuuute!" Steve gushed as he scratched under Loki's jaw. Loki purred loudly.

Tony sniggered and Bruce facepalmed. Thor stood staring, not sure where to go with this and Pepper rolled her eyes and walked off to call an ambulance.

"What's so funny?" Steve asked and Tony laughed a little harder, "I can like cats!" Steve cried indignantly and held the cat closer. Loki meowed when the embrace became to tight. "Sowy kitty." Steve cooed in the cat's ear.

Thor sighed, "Captain, you realise who that is don't you?"

"A tuxedo cat?"

"No not what it is, _who_ it is?"

"Is he yours?"

"... sort of?" Tony busted up at this and Loki meowed indignantly. Steve raised an eyebrow and got up, tucking Loki into his arms. The other followed Steve into the elevator, Pepper barely managing to get on as the doors closed.

* * *

"So that cat reminds you of no one?" Thor asked and Tony groaned.

"Loki doesn't really act like himself as a cat you know?" Steve paled and looked at the little ball of fluff in his arms.

"This is Loki?" He asked and the cat leaned up and licked his face. Steve was torn, this was the psychopath who'd been bent on world domination and killing... but he was just SO CUTE!

"Currently he suffers from... I guess you could call it broken magic." Loki meowed in Steve's arms.

"And he just loves you." Tony said as he walked by, a large wine bottle in one hand. Steve looked down at the cat and felt his heart melt.

* * *

Loki spent the evening beside Steve, being pampered and fed slices of pepperoni.

"What do you think Steve'll do when Loki turns back?" Tony whispered to Bruce as they watched them.

"Probably buy himself another cat... or demand Loki turns back into one."

Thor sat aways away, watching jealously. Loki licked his lips and meowed loudly. Thor grumbled into his pizza.

"Whats wrong oh mighty Thunder Thighs?" Tony asked as he and Bruce walked over.

"I have never seen Loki so socially attached to someone." Thor says, not looking away.

"It's... probably the whole cat mentality." Tony said and Bruce nodded vigorously. Thor looked thoughtful.

"I hope so."

* * *

"So Steve, are you _also_ staying the night?" Tony asked, feeling like his tower was becoming an Avengers Hotel.

"Umm..." Steve looked thoughtful and Loki meowed, demanding more pepperoni, "Sure!"

Thor sighed jealously and Tony grumbled because that meant more people. Loki enjoyed his pepperoni.

When Steve had yawned for the fifth time hours later, after three action movie and plenty of pizza, he picked up a pizza box in one hand and scooped Loki up with the other, hoping no one noticed.

"Night." He called, heading for no room in particular.

As soon as he'd left Tony leaned over to Thor and said, "Dude, he just stole your cat."

* * *

Steve let Loki jump onto the bed and he sat down at the desk with the pizza, picking off the pepperoni slices and laying them on the box lid.

"So you have a snack for when I'm asleep." Steve explained as he stripped down to his boxers and T-shirt and climbed into bed. Loki nuzzled up to him, looking for the body heat, and meowed softly.

"Good night Lo-Kitty." Steve mumbled as sleep washed over him. Loki was to tired to notice. They both slept peacefully, heated by the other's body warmth.

Eventually though, Loki's cat instincts woke him and he got down from the bed, stretching as he landed.

The pepperoni was cold, but Loki ate it anyway. Then he hoped from desk, to chair, to another chair set in the corner of the room, to the edge of Steve's bed. Then he leapt up onto the side table Steve was farthest from and attempted to jump to the chest of drawers nearby.

He failed epically, and instead crashed headlong into the side of the chest of drawers. Making a loud crashing noise as he went.

Steve snorted and half-woke, turning to see his Lo-Kitty slumped by the chest of drawers he got out of bed and stumbled over.

"Hey... whzat happened to yoou?" He slurred, doing a ruff, and clumsy, check on Loki's head. Loki seemed dazed and that was the worst of it.

"Thatz good." Steve mumbled, crashing back to the bed with Lo-Kitty in his arms. Lo-Kitty shook the daze off but didn't bother getting up, as Steve's arm was lying across his back and he feared waking him up again. That check had been painfull.

Eventually Loki decided to go back to sleep himself, feeling an odd twinge in his lower gut as he did so.

* * *

Steve woke to a beautiful morning. Nothing was blowing up or screaming, there were no early morning nutjobs in giant robots outside, and best of all he was holding a cat.

He opened his eyes to see a pale dark haired man asleep in his arms.

"AHHH!" Steve cried, releasing his hold and falling off the bed as he tried to back away. Loki wolk up and, in the initial confusion, screamed and fell off the other side.

"AHHH!"

"AHH!"

"AHHH!"

"AHHH!"

"STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!" One very angry, very groggy, Tony screamed as he slammed the door open, Thor, Bruce, and Pepper waited outside, watching everything unfold from the safety of the doorway.

"What the hell is going on?!" Tony screamed and then his brain processed the scene before him and he laughed.

"I hope you didn't try to kiss your pet during the night!" Tony teased as he walked out of the room and both Steve and Loki dry heaved.

Thor was over joyed to see his brother once again a human male.

"Brother!" He cried, running into the room and hugging Loki, who stiffened at the physical contact.

"You'r crushing me." Loki wheezed as Thor's grip grew tighter.

"It's the crushing bond of love brother!" Thor said stupidly and Loki sighed, resign himself to passing out.

Steve hurriedly pulled on his pants and shoes, grabbing his motorcycle keys in the process.

"Where are you going?" Bruce asked and everyone watched him leave.

"To run an errand."

* * *

The New York City Pet Shelter was clean and refined, a safe place for animals.

Steve parked his motorcycle and walked in, the smell of animal's assaulting his nostrils. It wasn't a super bad smell, but there were about fifty smells Steve would have preffered to have been smelling at that moment.

The receptionist smiled as he approached.

"Hi there," She said in an overly peppy voice, "Would you like to adopt a new little friend today?"

"Yeah," Steve said a little sadly, "Do you have any black and white tomcats with deep green eyes that stare into your soul?"

The receptionist looked confused but continued anyway, "Why? Did you lose one like that?"

"No. He turned back into a human."


	8. Hey Mista!

**Oomara13:... i's has fixed it -_-**

**Zinka17:Don't we all? :D :p**

**Warning: This chapter might be a bit more dramatic then I meant it to be... sorry 3**

* * *

Loki dashed into the room, slamming and locking it just as Thor tried to follow in behind him.

"Brother! You must relate to me what it was like to sleep-ACK!" The door slamming into his face cut Thor off.

"No go away!" Loki screamed irratly, "And where the hell are my clothes?"

"Let me in and I will help you find them!" Thor called through the door.

"No!"

"Loki I will break the door down!" Thor threatened.

"Hey! No breaky!" Tony called from behind him, "You break, I blast!" Thor pouted and turned back to the door.

"Please. Open. The door."

"NO!"

"Dangit Loki!"

Loki wanted to cast a charm to shut Thor up, but was worried the magic would backfire and do something horrible to him... turn him into a duck or something...

Loki got on all fours and looked around, his memories of a cat coming back all fuzzy... stupid cat brain. Loki bristled, wishing his memories of where his clothes ended up would come back.

"Loki?" A sharp knock on the door and a feminine voice told the spell caster it wasn't his annoying brother.

"Ah, I... can't come to the door." Loki said awkwardly, grabbing the bedsheet and wrapping it around his body.

"I have clothes for you, they're Tony's so they're a little big but they should fit well enough." The voice said, "I'll leave them here by the door." When he heard the clicking of feet as the woman walked away, Loki snaked to the door, crouched down low, and as fast as he could opened the door, grabbed the clothes, and shut it as fast as he could. Locking it dramatically before flinging the clothes on the bed.

Just as he was reaching to release the bedsheet he noticed something sticking out from under the bed. He bent down and, upon closer examination, realised it was his underwear.

"Thank the AllFather." He sighed, putting them on and then proceeding to don Tony's jeans and Foo Fighters T-Shirt.

* * *

When Loki emerged from the room and proceeded to look for any other signs of life, he realised there was no one on his floor.

"Where is everyone?" He wondered.

"Mr. Stark has taken the other Avengers currently in the building and Miss Potts out." JARVIS said, Loki jumping as the computerized voice spoke.

"Do not surprise me like that spirit!" Loki demanded irratly, "And where did he take them?"

"It appears a resturant that sells Chinese food." JARVIS said tiredly, "And I am not a 'spirit' I am an Artificial Intelligence unit created by Mr. Stark!" Loki was silent, a confused look on his face.

"You speak of black magic spirit, away with you!"

JARVIS sighed and said nothing more.

* * *

With none of the Avengers around and there was still no one on the first floor to really stop him, Loki left the tower. Walking outside into the New York city streets alone and unsupervised. Tony had left one of his wallets, full of the mortal money, so Loki figured that for the right amount of pieces of green paper, he could probably find his way home.

And was bored within fifteen seconds of walking.

"Hey mista!" An old, scraggly looking man said as he approached Loki, "Mista'! Haven't I seen you somewhe'es befo'e?"

"Uhh, no?" Loki said, a little too condescendingly.

"Yeah, yeah, you' that famous guy 'ight?" The man said, draping an arm around Loki's shoulder. Loki began to feel very uncomfortable with the situation.

"No..." Loki said, trying to duck out from under the man's arm, but the man ducked with him.

"Yeah, you got 'is moves and eve'ything! You a'e that guy."

"What guy?" Loki asked irritated.

"The guy who jus' gave me whateve' was in his pocket's!" The dirty man laughed, presenting Tony's leather wallet as proof. Loki felt his stomach drop open, he needed that!

"Give that bag thief!" Loki demanded angrily, holding his hand out to recieve it. The man instead sneered and spit a loogi into his hand. Loki recoiled in disgust and after wiping the disgusting mucus off onto a nearby wall, he chased after the disgusting-looking man.

"Return that which is not your's cretin!" Loki cried, reminded of how Thor would shout that at him as he chased after Loki when Loki stole something of Thor's.

'Weird how that comes back to bite you.' Loki thought as he dodged around a few city-goers after the man.

The man was surprisingly in good shape for how unkept he appeareed. Loki wondered if this was somesort of "Other Being" messing with him.

The man turned down an alleyway and Loki was sure he had him cornered, or atleast the upper hand. It would be easier to catch up to him with no people in the way to slow him down.

He was close! Closer... closer... almost there... Loki reluctantly reached out a hand to grab the man by his scruffy jacket.

And felt something very hard slam into him and knock him to the ground.

"They all fall for it!" Someone laughed as Loki shook his head to clear it. He was seeing double of everything.

"You'd think people would stop chasin' meh you know? Conside'ing how many timehs we been featu'ed in the news?" The gross man said, kneeling down to look Loki over, "Espec'lly afte' tha' las' one. Sent 'im to a hospital with a b'oken a'm and eve'ything!" Loki, instead of feeling fear, felt anger. They thought they could intimidate a Prince of Asgard?

"Now friend," The mysterious second man said, leaning down and grabbing Loki by the jaw, "What else you got for us?" He looked like a sumo wrestler, every part of his body was gigantic and muscle bound. His face looked smashed in a dozen different places, and there was a jagged and very fresh scar running down the side of his cheek.

"Unhand me you disgusting lech!" Loki cried, swatting the hand away. He quickly jumped to his feet and began to scream, "And give me back that money container! I need it!"

"Money container? Man Evans, you sure can pick 'em."

Evans leered at Loki, his remaining black teeth catching the random shred of light and glinting dangerously at him. The other man took a step towards Loki.

"N-Not another step!"

"Why? You scared?" Loki wasn't scared per se, but he couldn't rely on his magic at the moment and his combat skills were... less than desirable. Loki stood stock straight, trying to recall a few fighting moves Thor had tried to teach him back when they were still on good terms. The man got within swinging distance and threw one muscle bound fist in a swinging motion towards Loki's face.

Loki ducked and did a simple handstand, letting his body fall forward, feet aimed at the man's face.

The man cried out in pain and Evans began to approach him, a gun drawn in one hand, the wallet in another.

"Teach you tah figh' back!" He cried, aiming the gun and firing. The bullet caught Loki's knee and when Loki landed on his feet he crashed to the ground, unable to support his weight on the one leg. Fear finally began to claw at Loki, and as Evans and the other man began to converge on him at the same time he acted on instinct.

There was a brilliant flash of blue light and Loki felt that odd twinge in the pit of his stomach again and knew this wouldn't end well for anyone.

Then Loki blacked out and knew nothing more.

* * *

Tony didn't feel the least bit of regret of leaving Loki at home with JARVIS. JARVIS knew how dangeruos the little psycopath was and would keep him contained.

Meanwhile he and his team, and his girlfriend, could enjoy dumplings and sushi without worry.

That was until the TV that was mounted in the cieling in the corner was turned up as a news report of a "strange glowing man in the Midtown Manhattan Buisness district" that was apparantly tearing up the streets. A close up of the figure from a nearby cameraman showed that the strange glowing man, while being a mere silhouette, seemed to move sloth like and with alot of difficulty. Like he really didn't want to. His head was upright, but it lolled side to side everyonce in a while.

Everything he touched seemed to either explode or crack into millions of pieces, the road, the cars, nearby news bins and fire hydrants. He seemed to have a radius of five feet around him and people did well to stay out of it. Screaming could be heard from the television as the news people went live.

A woman with long blonde hair and a microphone was standing aways away from the man, but he was slowly coming towards her.

"Well Bob, as you can see the threat is slow moving but highly destructive. We and local authorities are urging anyone within the Columbus Circle to please vacate to a safer location until the threat is dealt with." The picture split-screened and the news anchor said, "And have the Avengers been called in yet Carol?"

"There has been no sightings as of yet Bob." Carol said sadly, "But everyone here is hoping they show up soon."

That last sentence was lost on the Avengers, who had already run out the door, leaving Pepper to pay the bill.

* * *

Tony was the only one to be considered "In Uniform" at the moment. His suit was stashed in his car trunk. The rest were wearing only their street clothes and, Natasha the only one with real weapons. Barton looked around at the scene for anything he could use. Steve, who'd also stored his shield in the trunk, held it defenively looking for an opening.

Banner willed himself to get angrier than was safe and suddenelly the Hulk's mind took over, wanting only to smash the bright lights coming toward him.

Thor stood with the others on the ground, arm outstretched as he summond Mjolnir to himself. As the light's got closer, Thor felt Mjolnir flying faster.

"Come on, come on." He whispered, the urgentness of the situation eating at him.

Tony blasted at the lights to see what would happen. The blast was a direct hit at the silhouette of a man inside and the glowing orb around him seemed to do nothing to stop it. The silhouette jerked back, holding his head where the blast had hit. Then the silhouette looked up at Tony, his eyes and mouth glowing blue, and he screamed at Tony. Much like the Hulk did two seconds later before running at the orb. It blew him back and the Hulk landed on his butt, shaking his head to clear it before getting back on his feet and charging the blue light again. He made it maybe two inches in the orb before he was blown back again.

Thor felt the leather handle connect with his hand and Thor rose in the sky. He issued a great roar as warning to step back and summoned lightning. He directed it at the orb itself and the blue glow seemed to shrink maybe a foot. The silhouette screamed in pain, arching backward as he was electrocuted. Then he landed on his back and remained there, jerking as electricity still ran through him.

"Now!" Steve screamed and all at once the Avengers converged on the threat. Steve running at it with his shield as protection, Natasha firing bullets like mad as she ran behind the Hulk, who made it almost the entire way in. Tony fired blasts of energy at the orb along with Clint, who tossed whatever he could find at it. Thor continued to shock the orb with lightning. All at once, the thing in the orb screamed savagely and the Avengers were blown back. Most were knocked unconcious for a few moments.

Thor, enraged at the growing threat, issued a massive cry and flew at the creature, driving his hammer as hard as he could into the top of the orb.

He ended driving straight through the orb, straight into the being within. The orb shuddered and then fell with a massive crackling sound while the remaining Avengers picked themselves up.

Thor kneeled on the broken pavement, cradling his unconcious brother in his arm.

"Brother?" Thor whispered and Loki jerked awake, his eyes glowing ice blue again and the orb resurfaced. This time encasing both Asgardians.

"Thor!" Steve screamed and the others could do nothing but watch as Thor's sihlouette struggled to his feet and reached back and slugged Loki. Loki fell hard to the ground and the orb fell again.

Thor fell to his knees as well and before he could even touch his brother Natasha shot a dart into Loki's kneck.

"Sedative." She said quickly when Thor turned around angrily, looking ready to attack her. Thor turned back to his brother and carefully picked him up.

Before anyone could move a large flying air ship appeared in the sky over them, a loud booming voice projected from it.

_"Get him in here... NOW!"_


	9. Blow Up the Room

Loki had been contained within a chamber strong enough to contain the Hulk and Thor at the same time. He was put on a drip containing a sedative and a respirator, along with other medical machines, were hooked up to him. Doctors in haz-mat suits attended the machines, warned to evacuate the chamber should anything seem to start going wrong.

Fury stood beside Thor and Tony on a walkway outside the chamber.

"I thought you said he was having trouble with magic." Fury said angrily.

"I did." Thor said simply, "I suspect this was another instance of that."

"Well he just tore up a whole city street." Fury snarled, "That means he's dangerous." Thor looked at the S.H.I.E.L.D. director questioningly.

"We're just gonna keep him under a sedative until something else happens... or he blows up the room." Tony jumped in.

"And how will we know when this latest mishap has worn off?" Thor asked, gripping Mjolnir a little tighter.

"We'll test him from time to time," Fury said, begining to walk away, "Until then he's to remain under heavy sedation." And the director disapeared in an elevator.

"Don't worry Point Break, we'll get him out of here." Tony said, clapping Thor on the shoulder.

* * *

"I just don't understand what would cause _this_ to happen. Usually the problems started after he cast something. Or he got really angry." Tony said inside the chamber, his haz-mat suit clinging uncomfortably in the most awkward of places. Tony continued to look at the readings and try to make something genius out of it.

"Maybe he got mad you guys left without him and tried to transport himself there." Eric Selvig, an astrophysicist called in by S.H.I.E.L.D. said. Selvig had been asked to monitor the energy levels exhibited by the Prince of Asgard and determine when they became to dangerous for the S.H.I.E.L.D. doctors to tolerate.

"No, he would more likely have filled our beds with horse's blood and worms." Thor said, Selvig gave him an odd look but Thor didn't seem to notice. Thor didn't wear a suit, claiming he didn't need it, and refused to move from a chair beside Loki's bed.

"Well, so he did... that?" Selvig asked.

"If he did, how did he get outside? He couldn't have walked out of the tower like that because the tower does not appear damaged in any way."

"Don't you mean _anymore_?" Selvig asked smiling. Thor returned it saying, "Even as a cat my brother is a formiddable opponent."

"Well, this may or may not interest you but the doctors took a look at him when he was brought in and discovered something interesting."

"What?"

"Well, he was found with a bullet in his knee and bruising on his jaw and side." Selvig said, looking over the file, "Maybe he walked outside and was attacked?"

"By who?"

"Well, did you hear about those muggings going down recently? They were mainly concentrated in the Columbus Circle and the last attack sent the victim to the hospital with a broken arm. The only way people were able to connect them was that the victims say they were attacked by a sumo wrestler and a small wiry man."

"Specifics?"

"None, sometimes they looked like buisness men, sometimes like a wrestler and his agent, I think they even dressed up as the Hulk and Iron man once."

"I'm both flattered and insulted." Tony said from his work spot. Thor chuckled and Selvig rolled his eyes.

"So he was about to get mugged, gets shot, and then acts on instinct and casts a spell to protect himself resulting in this?" Tony summed up.

"Yes." Thor said without hesitation.

"Then it's a simple answer, he doesn't get blamed." Tony said, waving his hands in the air, "Yay..."

"You treat this as jest Man of Iron." Thor said testily.

"No, in lightheartedness. Now," Tony swung around, wiggling his lower half to attempt and free himself of his wedgie from the suit, "We just need to prove it."

* * *

The street Loki had torn up was still pretty hammered the next day as Natasha, wearing a blonde wig and high society buisness atire, carefully walked down it. The more dangerous areas had been roped off and the road itself had been closed. But people still walked down the sidewalk where it was safe. Natasha walked aways down the street to the point all the destruction stopped. An alleyway on the other side of the street had been roped off and it looked like Thor and the Hulk had taken turns smashing it up.

"Bingo." She whispered to herself, crossing the street and ducking under the tape, glad no one was around at the moment.

She looked around and saw the damage started aways down the alley. Kneeling down at the point of origin, she noticed something odd smeared on ground just before the cracked ground. Natasha, not wanting to waste time, pulled a small bag out of her briefcase and opened it to reveal her tools. She selected a scraper and opened a small plastic bag. She scraped the smear until some of it came up and then she carefully used the scrapper to put it in the bag. She placed the bag in her briefcase and put the scraper in the tool bag. Then she stood up, examining the rest of the alleyway.

About a foot away she brushed her fingers over a section of the wall that had been destroyed by what one could guess was a large canonball.

"What's this all about?" She asked herself.

"Ma'am!" A constuction worker dashed under the tape and approached her, "Ma'am you can't be here."

"Says who?" Natasha asked, unconciously straightening her blonde wig.

"City orders to rope off the more dangerous parts of this street. We can't have you in here ma'am it's to dangerous."

"So sorry." Natasha smiled simply, bristling at being caught. She was supposed to be one of the best spies in the world and she'd let herself get caught! How stupid of a move could she make next?

"Ma'am, what's in the bag?"

"That is personal property."

"It's dusty and it looks like you stole one of our scrapers."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Natasha, deciding she had good reason to, thigh choked the man until he turned purple and passed out.

* * *

"Well, it looks like... human tissue." Banner said, looking up from his microscope. Natasha and Clint sat aways away from him, a look of disgust on their faces.

"So he was friend into street paste?" Clint asked.

"Flattened... and then maybe absorbed by that blue orb thing?" This was a worse explanation, Clint shuddering and Natasha's lip curling in disgust.

"So... he was attacked by one guy?" Clint asked.

"That doesn't explain the hole in the wall though, there weren't any others to suggest that the walls were affected too." Natasha said.

"I dunno. Hey, Clint," Banner sealed the human tissue sample in it's bag and threw it at the archer. Hawkeye freaked and jumped away from it, "Oh it wont hurt you, go give it to Fury and ask him to run it through his database. Maybe we can get an ID on him." Hawkeye begrudgingly picked up the bag and walked out of the room with it.

"So what happens when Loki wakes up?" Ntasha asked.

"I... don't really know."

* * *

Fury threw the plastic bag at one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and ordered him to run it. Maybe they could atleast inform the family this guy was dead.

So, thats one count of destroying the city... again, and now murder. Fury didn't see Loki's future as looking to bright.

Which meant there was gonna be a big hassle of dealing with Thor... and possibly ultimatly the Avengers because of Thor...

And all before ten a.m. that day!

Fury sighed, he needed a vacation.

* * *

Everyone but Thor, who still refused to come out, was standing on the walkways outside the chamber, Tony and Selvig, along with a doctor, ready at some important looking controls.

"The sedatives have been withheld for almost an hour," The doctor said, "He should wake soon."

"Containment procedures have been enacted," Tony reported, fiddling with the controls, "Nothing can get in or out."

"Look!" Selvig pointed.

The Trickster Prince was moving his head slugishly, the last of the sedative finally wearing off. Thor, alerted by his brother's movements, carefully approached his bedside.

"Loki?" He whispered.

Loki gasped and opened his eyes, and a split second later they glowed blue again. An electrical surge danced along the wall of the chamber and suddenelly the blue orb was back, contained within Loki's prison.

Thor grunted at the sudden pain and the doctor pressed a button on his control panel, releasing the sedatives from the drip into Loki's system. Loki screamed and was silent. The orb fell again and Thor fell to his knees.

"Well, suppose we give it a week then?" Tony asked. Selvig and the doctor gave him a withering look.

Thor struggled to his feet, using the bed Loki was on as a support. He looked at his brother annoyed.

"This is most infuriating brother." He mumbled before limping back to his chair and sighing.

He needed a vacation.

* * *

Two days later and Pepper found Tony passed out in his lab, his body covering papers and papers of readouts he'd been assigned to look over.

"Tony?" Pepper said softly, touching his shoulder.

"Zzz-Not the the pepper spray!" Tony jumped, sitting up quickly, "Oh... Hi Paper... Pepper." He blinked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Tony, you need to go upstairs and lay down." Pepper said.

"No... no... almost there." Tony said, laying back down on his papers.

"Tony!" Pepper said sternly, forcing him back in his chair.

"Hi there."

"Tony get up."

"No." He reached up and, even half aslepp, was stronger than Pepper. He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her, "Your warm." He mumbled.

"Tony-"

"Shh," Tony whispered, "You'll scare the fish."

"What fish Tony?"

"The ones running down the hall with jam on their foreheads... ahahaha." It was obvious Tony was asleep. But Pepper still couldn't break free.

"Urgh, Tony!" Pepper groaned, throwing herself backwards so that the momentum carried and the chair toppled backwards, Tony and Pepper rolling away from it. Tony snored possibly even louder.

"Tony!" Nothing, absolutly nothing had disturbed Tony's rest. And he held possibly even tighter onto Pepper, so that she ultimatly had no choice but to lay there in the semi darkness on the floor of Tony's lab in Tony's arms and listen to him snore softly.

"This is the most attention I've gotten from him all week." Pepper mumbled.

* * *

A week had passed and on the day they were to test Loki again the Avengers were called out to deal with a new threat: some overly muscle bound nutcase who'd taken about twenty people inside a local bank hostage and was firing not only regular guns, but some sort of fire cannon as well. At the police and the hostages!

"And he hasn't even tried to grab any money?" Tony asked.

"Not from we can tell, he's only been using the surrounding populace for target practice." Fury said, looking up from the television screen.

"I wish to remain here," Thor said suddenelly, "As a guardian over my brother."

"No can do Thor," Fury said not at all sorry, "But we need you for this one. Asgardians apparantly aren't that vulnerable to bullets, making you perfect for the rescue part of the mission."

"But what if Loki-"

"Your brother will be fine Thor." Natasha said, trying not let any tiredness enter her voice.

"Yes but-"

"And when we get back you can shower and continue sitting in that chair."

"Actually, can he shower before we leave? I don't think even the guy out there firing flaming cannon balls deserves _this_." Steve said as an attempt at humor. He only got Clint and Tony to smile, Bruce lip twitched.

"This is no time for humor Captain." Fury said sternly.

"Yes sir."

"Now," Tony said getting up, "Lets go roast us some weenies!" And he flew dramatically out of the room to go put on his armor.

Fury and Natasha both snorted and Clint and Banner outright laughed, Thor giving it a mere chuckle.

Steve was not amused.

* * *

The sumo wrestler looking guy was in fact named Kyle Edgins. He'd spent months hoarding away his fire power for the right moment. And with the death of his budy do to that freak in the alleyway, he really couldn't mug people anymore.

Perfect time to retire.

So he'd grabbed one of his own inventions, a fire cannon, and a Sig Sauer from his stash and headed to one of the places he hated most. He'd had a girlfriend who'd worked here until she left him after a one night fling with Tony Stark. That had been a few years ago but just walking in here still hurt.

Kyle looked over the room of remaining hostages. He'd already shot a few and fried a couple more. The remaining were cowering in fear, hiding small children behind themselves in the hope he wouldn't notice them.

"Who's next?" He asked, looking their faces over, trying to find some reason to roast that person or shoot this person. He found it. A small girl crying in the corner, her mother sitting protectively infront of her with a look of outrage on her face.

"And who do we have here?" Kyle said wickedly, walking over and shoving the mother out of the way. He grabbed the small girl by her wrist and easily lifted her to his face, she started to scream and her mother started to attack Kyle but he didn't even feel her kicks and punches.

"You wanna see what fire looks like up close?" Kyle asked in an upbeat tone.

"No!" The woman and her daughter screamed. Kyle just laughed and lifted the barrel of the cannon towards the girls temple. His finger snaked around the trigger and was just pulling it back when-

Thor's hammer flew into the gun and tore it from Kyle's hand, breaking said hand in the process.

"Ow!" Kyle screamed, kicking the mother away, knocking her out upon contact with the wall, and turning to face the Asgardian, "That hurt!"

"Obviously not enough." Thor snarled, hand held outstretched.

"What? You think I'm just gonna give her to you? No way you fre-" Mjolnir flew into Kyle, sending him to the ground along with the girl who cried out in pain.

"Thor!" Captain America arrived through the door, "Be careful! He still has the girl!" Thor nodded, embaressed by his mistake, and strode carefully over and placed Mjolnir ontop of Kyle.

The Captain hurried over and tried to pry Kyle's hand open, but Kyle wouldn't release.

"Release her or you will come to more harm." Thor demanded. Kyle didn't notice Natasha and Clint hurry into the room and start directing people to quietly make their escape.

"Are you kidding? This is the most harm you'll ever inflict on me! I didn't feel it when that guy hit me with that blue orb that tore up that whole street, I didn't feel it when Miss Sunshine's mommy started kicking me. All this little toy of yours is doing is holding me down. I could be here for hours and not care."

"You are the one who attacked my brother?" Thor asked, a dangerous tone coming into his voice.

"Your brother? So he's more of a freak than I thought!" Kyle laughed, "Yeah he destroyed my pal Evans but no matter, more retirement fund for me!"

Thor started to go for Kyle's throat but Toyn stopped him.

"We're done." He said and when Thor looked around he saw that all the hostages had been arrived, Clint and Natasha carrying the last few who hadn't survived out. Steve had lifted the unconcious mother up and was standing there waiting for them. Thor noticed Banner in the corner, looking madder and madder.

"Very well." Thor said, barely able to contain his rage. He stepped off of Kyle Edgars and Tony blasted his closed fist.

"Ow!" The fist opened and Tony lifted the scared girl into his arms.

"I guess your not that invulnerable." Tony said snidely before he left, "Tracey was fantastic by the way, how could you let a little thing like her get away?" Kyle screamed in outrage as Tony walked out of the room. Thor lifted his hammer off of Kyle and, as he walked away, mentioned to Banner, "Make sure he'll still feel it by next month."

Bruce nodded and his skin started to turn green.

* * *

The doctors and Selvig all stood on the walkway, fingers itching over the controls. The sedatives had been withheld for two hours now and Loki was finally starting to twitch as he woke up.

Loki opened his eyes, blinked a few times, then gasped and green irises gave way to glowing blue. The field surrounded him once again only this time, it cracked the glass walls and the whole chamber exploded.

"No!" Selvig screamed as the floor underneath the chamber gave way and what was left of the decimated area fell out of the hellicarrier and through the sky. Loki tumbled from the bed and was surrounded by the blue orb. Falling hundereds of feet.

* * *

Tony had just helped the little girl, Susy, into the ambulance with her mother and closed the door when he heard it.

A loud explosion.

He turned to see the hellicarrier's bottom take an explosion and then saw debris falling from it. Not to mention a blue glowing orb that seemed to be falling faster than everything else.

"Thor!" He screamed, lowering his helmet and flying off to meet Loki. The others saw it too, the Hulk just emerging behind a heavily beaten Kyle Edgars, and either flew or ran towards the jet.

Thor, upon reaching Loki's blue orb, flew attempting to enter it but was instead repelled.

"It's changed! I can no longer enter it." Thor yelled and Tony attempted to blast it, the blast richcocketed off the surface and flew towards the hellicarrier, taking out a window.

"Think Fury will notice?" Tony asked sheepishly but Thor wasn't listening. He'd instead grabbed onto it, watching his brother who looked like he was a silhouette on fire.

"Something is happening in there!" Thor screamed and began to punch the orb. By now the jet arrived, Natasha stearing the nose of the aircraft straight into it, managing to pierce the outer shell. Blue fire leaked out and began to consume the jet rapidly.

"Abandon ship!" Clint cried as he headed for the parachutes, throwing ones to Natasha, Banner, and Steve before strapping into his own. Natasha managed to open the bay doors before the controls exploded.

Meanwhile Thor was attempting to make the hole larger, slamming his hammer at the already damaged edges and sighing in relief when he chipped more and more of it away.

"Thor you better hurry!" Tony cried, punching and blasting bits of the punctured orb from his side, "Loki's looking worse and worse." And indeed, there was very little of the silhouette left.

"Remove yourself from the area!" Thor cried, "I have an idea!" And he flew off. Tony, not wanting to become fried chicken, took off. Wondering how lightning could solve this.

Thor was maybe ten feet above the orb when he began swinging his hammer 'round and 'round, clouds forming and lightning surging towards Mjolnir. Thor waited till he could see the damaged hole in the orb and then fired his full might at it.

The orb exploded, bits raining down on Central Park below and evaporating into nothing. Something small and heavy thudded into the bushes, near the now flamming half jet, the back portion the only thing remaining.

Thor and Tony landed, the others running to meet them.

"Find Loki!" Thor cried, searching the bushes, trees, streams, and even the nearby hotdog stand for him.

"Uhh, Thor?" Bruce called, lifting something out of a cluster of snapdragons.

"Oh my gosh." Natasha whispered.

"Can we keep him?" Tony asked.

"It's not an animal stupid!" Clint swatted Tony's head, immeadiatly regretting it since the helmet was still atatched to Tony's suit.

"Still, I don't think Fury wants that running around his ship."

Only Thor seemed to be concerned.


	10. What is Pizza?

**I promise I wont write anything dramatic in this story again! T-T It totally messed me up! As you can see I totally had to "find the inspiration" again (thank you Iron Man 3 and endless Marvel Movie funny interviews!... and Adam Lambert's "For your Entertainment" I don't know why but that song worked for this comedy story).**

**I really need to thank Thepersonwithnolife for PM'ing me to get back on this story at the time they did, otherwise I'd be writing "Darker Disney" instead (which I still plan to do, but now it'll have to learn to share!)!**

* * *

_Pop!_ A rubber Nerf dart smacked Tony in the forehead.

"Victory!"

"That's it!" Tony cried, getting up quickly to chase a laughing twelve year old.

Outside the room Fury stood talking to Thor.

"Why is it whenever something goes wrong with _him_, I'm on the otherside of a window talking to you about it?" Fury asked annoyed. Thor merely shrugged sheepishly, continuing to watch his little brother, now quite literally little, get chased by a geniues playboy philanthropist.

"So how long do you think this will last?" Fury asked.

"I cannot say, he was a woman for maybe a day? And then a cat for a whole day. The weird orb thing lasted a week... oh no!" Thor began to run out of the room.

"Where do you think your going?"

"It's Volstaggs week!" Thor called as he ran out the door in a hurry.

"What?"

* * *

Volstagg walked slowly down the dungeon steps, nibbling on a leg of mutton. He absolutely hated watching Loki. It was boring and slightly awkward, and the food wasn't even that good.

Loki must have thought so as well because Volstagg was currently staring at an empty cell.

"Loki!" Volstagg thundered, stomping up the stairs waving his mutton like a club.

* * *

"Heimdall!" Thor cried, shouting at the sky as soon as he reached the landingstrip on the hellicarrier, "Heimdall open the bridge!"

Nothing happened.

"This... cannot end well." Thor muttered before continuing to shout at the sky like a mad man.

* * *

"Allfather!" Volstagg cried, entering the throne room. Odin stood up, ignoring the people trying to talk to him.

"What is it? Why are you not watching over Loki?" Odin asked aprehensively.

"Because he is not there to begin with."

"WHAT?"

Frigga sighed from her standing place near her husbands throne, "How are you so surprised? You honestly didn't expect him to try and escape? How many attempts a week is there reported? Nine? He was bound to succeed sometime."

Odin cast her a dark glance and turned back to Volstagg.

"Gather the other warriors and prepare my horse. We will bring him back in irons!"

"He'll magic himself out of them!" Frigga called as Volstagg and Odin stomped out of the room, but it appeared no one had heard her which caused Frigga to groan in annoyance and march towards another section of the castle.

'One hopefully free of idiots.' She thought to herself as the idea of a pleasing walk popped into her mind.

* * *

"Heimdall!" Odin thundered.

"Yes?"

"Where are my sons?"

"On Midgard milord, but I really-"

"Take us there now!" Odin cried, "We intend to bring the boys back in irons!"

"But milord-"

"Now Heimdall! I have enough power to get us back but it's faster if you send us there first."

Heimdall sighed, realising the old king was not going to be listening anytime soon. He took a deep breath and concentrated before a flash of light and the Asgardians were standing on the balconey of an enourmous tower in a bustling city.

"Warriors!" Odin commanded, "Let's go." Odin concentrated and after a few seconds, we was flying at the large fort in the sky.

* * *

"So Loki," Natasha asked as the twelve year old ate a bowl of soup, "Where are you from?"

Bruce was currently sitting across from them with a pad of paper and a pen in his hands.

"Asgard."

"How old are you?"

"Twelve-I told you that already."

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah, a brother. He's fourteen." Loki said and Thor sighed derpressed from the doorway behind them.

"What about the rest of your family?"

"I have a dad and a mom. They're the rulers of Asgard, so I'm a prince. Which means I command more soup!" Loki said, lifting the empty bowl to Natasha's face.

Natasha forgot herself for a moment and nearly slammed the bowl back on Loki's head, but she saw Thor in the door in time to remember this kid could possibly make her life a living hell.

So instead she smiled sweetly and refilled the little snot-nosed toerag's soup bowl. He smiled sweetly and thanked her before diving head first into the dish. It was almost cute.

Almost.

Thor watched from afar as Bruce scribbled notes down on his pad of paper and Natasha distracted Loki from noticing the notes were probably about him.

His brother did not recognise him, when he had woken up he'd demanded to know where he was and who the person holding him was. Bruce had immeadiatly let go but when Thor had taken his place in holding the boy close Loki had merely begun to fight him as well. Saying it was a crime to lay a hand on a Prince of Asgard. Thor had promptly drawn himself up to his full height, puffed out his chest arrogantly, and proclaimed he himself was a Prince of Asgard.

The snort of laughter coming from the tween had not been what Thor had expected at all.

Now Loki sat at the table, eating soup and antagonizing the russian Master Assassin, something only few ever attempted and almost no one got away with. Loki seemed to be the only exception.

"Well, you should know there's no lasting damage from the fall," Bruce reported as he stood up from the table, "Loki should be back to normal just like all the other times if my hypothesis is correct, and," He checked his phone as it buzzed, "The votes been decided: Most everyone hopes he turns back into a woman." Then he walked seriously out of the room as Loki stared after, confused, and Natasha rolled her eyes, annoyed. Thor paused to wonder for a moment where that leash had gone.

"Now Loki," Natasha smiled plastically, trying to start a normal conversation with the Asgradian, "What's the last thing you remember before waking up in the park?"

"That large garden?" Loki asked, "Well... I remember I'd just turned Thor's hair pink while he was talking to some of Sif's other friends. They were laughing so loudly I almost didn't hear Thor's battle cry as he charged. I think I got away though because I'm here." Loki shrugged, "I'd like to go back if you don't mind, I'm thinking his hair should be chartruce next."

Natasha smiled, "Well Loki, I don't really know how to explain this properly but-"

Suddenenlly a loud crash that sounded like thunder and lightning hitting a brick wall at full speed and a cat had been thrown in there somewhere sounded outside. Red lights and alarms started flashing and men were shouting to eachother as they ran to meet the threat. Thor immeadiatly joined them, worried about what he was about to find.

* * *

"Spread out," Odin ordered, "Find both my sons and present them to me."

The Warriors spread out, crawling along the deck like cats until the first wave of S.H.I.E.L.D. soldiers appeared and then they fought like mad, blood-crazed warriors. Taking their victory like gluttons they marched to the top of the body-count pile and roared ferraly.

Then Thor smashed into Volstagg, knocking him to the metal deck and slidding twenty feet into a jet. The rest of the warriors watched in amused surprise before dogpiling the prince and dragging him to Odin's feet.

"Father-"

"What in Niffelheim's name where you thinking Thor?" Odin blustered, "Loki was locked up for a reason! It is because of you he faces his years in that cell and now I find you abusing that request by taking him here!"

"Father I brought him with me so that I could guard him. He never left my sight!" Thor argued.

"And why did you not return him when your week was over?" Odin questioned.

"Well..." Thor's confidence faltered here and he began to stumble through his words, "Heimdall was not opening the gate. And then Loki broke his magic and-"

"Loki _broke_ his magic?" Fandrall asked.

"Yes well, we were trying to gain entrance to Stark's tower and he wasn't opening the door so Loki... made him with his magic. But ever since it's been transforming him into different things and taking hold without his permission and things like that."

"Where is he right now?" Odin asked quietly.

"Father!" A voice cracked from the door. All the warriors turned to see a twelve year old boy with black hair running across the deck towards them.

He certaintly looked like Loki, apart from his mdigardian garb and the unkept hair, but he was smiling alot more than any of the warriors seemed to remember. Loki ran right up to Odin and threw his arms around him.

"Finally I can go home!" Loki cried, "I need to change Thor's hair back to normal. Some trickster turned it pink when he was in the bath's last."

"Loki that was you. Years ago." Odin said a tad awkwardly, not exactly sure what was going on. He looked up at Thor with a bewildered expression and Thor just shrugged.

Loki looked up at Odin, "What are you talking about? I did that hours ago-Father why do you look so much older than when I last saw you?"

"Ah Loki," Natasha said, trying to preform damage control, worried about a magically broken boy's reaction to being told of what actually was happening here, "Midgardian air is alot more taxing on the skin, it makes you look-"

"It appears you've been regressed to the time when you were twelve." Odin remarked, "Loki, I am older because I am older. You've merely forgotten everything."

Loki immeadiatly removed his arms from Odin's waist and coughed, "I see, so, how do I turn back to normal?"

Thor and Natasha fought back their fits of annoyed anger as Bruce approached them.

"You revert back to normal on your own, we basically just have to wait it out." Bruce said. Loki nodded and Odin sighed.

"I guess there's only one option: Loki and Thor will have to stay on Midgard until Loki's magic problems run their course."

"Woah, woah," Bruce held up his hands, "I don't think that was ever the plan. Why can't you bibbidi-bobbidi him back to normal?"

"Insanity: Doing the exact same thing to solve a problem and expecting different results." Odin chirped, "Any magic added to Loki's will only make your lives harder."

"Why ours?" Natasha asked almost hysterically.

Odin, for the first time, grinned with a twinkle in his eye, "Because it was Thor's bright idea to bring him here." Thor shrugged off his friends as he groaned.

"Father I didn't-"

"Save it Thor, I can get the full and unabrigid version from Heimdall," Odin smiled, taking joy in the fear that flashed in Thor's eyes as he realised his father had access to _all_ his doings over the past while, "I expect something interesting."

And with that the All-Father waved his hands and he, along with the warriors three, disapeared.

"We are so screwed." Natasha groaned, looking over at the twelve year old who was eyeing Thor with an all new light.

"So you're my brother?" Loki asked, "Thor thousands of years later?"

"Yes." Thor answered.

"Hmm," Loki turned away, heading for the doors, "You aged terribly."

* * *

"So wait a minute," Tony said as he waved his can of beer around while he paced in the briefing room. The Avengers and Fury sat around the meeting table, Tony pacing the room, "Big bad dad shows up, obliterates our forces, finds out his sons screwed up bigger than Steve facing technology, and then thrust the responsiblity of Lo-kid on us because all Thor wanted was a night of secret stuff with Velma?"

"That's about it." Clint grinned, playing idly with his bowstring.

"I resent that." Steve and Thor said in unision.

"Well that's just great, I always wanted to be someones crazy uncle but Big Brother programs nation wide have my mug shot." Tony clapped his hands together, "Let's do this." He started to walk for the door but Fury, and his two guards, stopped him.

"What do you mean by that?" Fury asked.

"I _mean_, Captain Crunch, that I'm gonna go party with a twelve year old Asgardian god." Tony said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He then turned, snapped his fingers, and the guards parted to let him pass. Tony waltzed out of the room and down the hall, gone long before Fury had finished his rant to the two guards on who they worked for.

Loki was sitting in the containment cell calmly reading. When Tony entered the young boy looked up at him disineterestedly before realizing who he was and smiling.

"Hello there." Loki said, "What can I do for you?"

"Are you hungry?" Tony asked.

"Starving."

Tony threw up his hands, "Then it's time for pizza!"

"What is pizza?"

Tony chuckled darkly, "Oh, you'll see."


End file.
